Should I date again after a breakup?

Top questions to ask before dating again

You did all that you can to bring your ex back but failed. You’ve already spent a fortune on self help guides that didn’t work for you. Or just maybe, you did something wrong or maybe, your ex doesn’t really want you anymore. Whatever the reasons you may now have, while being on the moving on process you will always be asking (and always be told) to go out an have fun.

But does this means that you have to date around? Here are the most important questions to ask yourself  first before you date after a breakup:

1.      Are you over him? Granted that you are not yet over him and you just want to have fun. Remember, dating around is not sleeping around. It’s healthier to get to know as many new faces as possible, it’s a healthier form of diversion, but please. Control the temptation since complications are just not good at the moment you’re still not over him yet.

2.      Will there still be a chance to get my ex back? Well if you still know you have a good chance, why date? You can only date around if it’s totally over, and you know deep down that your ex won’t be happier with you this time around – that it’s high time for you to find your happiness instead.

3.      Yes, you’re totally over him and you are ready to give yourself to another person who is worth your undying love and devotion. Remember, you just came from a really painful (or a devastating) breakup. Are you sure you can avoid your past issues this time? Are you sure you can be a better partner from now on?

4.      Is he good looking? Does he have a job? Did he finish college? What is his background (social, psychological, economic, financial)? Is he smart? Polite? Gentleman? Do you have the same political and religious views? How about in raising a family? What do you have in common? Is he funny? Or at least, can he meet your horizons? Does he beat up women, children and animals? What ended his previous relationships?

These questions may sound really superficial, but COME ON. In this day and age, movie cliches don’t work in real life and love. The reason why we have a 50%+ divorce rate is because of these issues I mentioned. He doesn’t have to be rich good looking (though that will be preferable) but as long as the good qualities overweigh the not-so-good ones, then go. But bottom line is, you have to know him better this time.

5.      But what if the guy turns out to be a total slacker? Will you be willing to forgive yourself for committing to a total loser who just used you and threw you away?

When you have honestly answered these questions, those will now determine if you really are ready to date around. Fine, you’re not yet looking for a husband or a long term relationship this time, but having fun always have to be along the straight lines. Don’t wait for bigger problems and complications to arrive before you appreciate the importance of good clean fun in dating. That’s not only a sign of being more mature and wise, but that’s how you assess your readiness to commit again – and to make love last this time.

Get your ex back system reviewed

Things to Know When Trying to Get an Ex Back

There are certain things that you need to be aware of  when you are trying to get an ex back. First and foremost try to answer the question, how badly do you want your ex back? This will determine as to what measures you need to take to get her back.  How long were you two together prior to breaking up? This will help in coming to the conclusion if your ex liked you or loved you. Last we will have to look at the question, How do you get an ex back?

Sometimes we fall in love  and then take things for granted and won’t even realize how bad the situation is until they are gone.  So when trying to get an ex back it can be difficult, especially when the ex does not want you back.  If ex does not want you back then you need to understand why  he / she doesn’t want you.

If you were together for a short period of time then most likely the ex is not in love and you should not be either.

Here are some areas that you should look at when you are trying to get an ex back

• What happened to make you two to break up?
• How long did you know each other prior to breaking up?
• How much did you two have in common?
• How did the ex act one week prior to the break up?

What happened to cause the break up has a lot to do with getting back with an ex.  If it is something small then it can be worked out and if the reason for the breakup was something terrible then I highly doubt that we should even continue.

Depending on whether you two were friends prior to the breakup is where you might have a chance.  If you two were really good friends then you might be able to squeeze in and get another chance.  It will take some time , during this time you might have to be the  patient and be a true friend .

Depending on how much you had in common helps you figure out how you can make a stand with her.  Find something that you both like to do like riding four wheelers or playing pool.  Invite her and her friends so it is not looking like a date, it is hard when you are trying to answer the question, how do you get an ex back?

How did your ex act one week prior to the break up, now this is only relevant if you don’t know why you two broke up.  If she was acting good up until the day that you two broke up then she needs some space or she did not know what she wanted until that day.  Just give her some space, and if she was acting weird for the last four days or son, then she probably dumped you and you don’t want her back. I hope that answers your question of how do you get an ex back?

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back: How to Make Her Want You : Regain Her Interest : Make Her Fall In Love

What Do You Do When an Ex Turns You Down?

A lot of the times you will find that your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is wanting you back buy for some reason or another after they broke your heart and you don’t want them back.  Well we are going to look at it from the other side of the relationship at what happens when an ex turns another down.   When someone is trying to get back with their ex the first thing that they consider is how do you get back your ex?  This question is most of the time hard to answer and I don’t know if there really is a definite answer to the question or not.  But what does one do when turned down by a previous ex girlfriend or boyfriend?

Well at first the ex that has been turned down is in shock and is in misery and does not know what to do, he does not know the answer on how do you get you get back your ex?  He is stuck in whole and cannot seem to dig anywhere but down.

When confronted with this awful situation the ex that has been turned down may move to worse engagements to succeed in the situation in which he or she has provided for themselves.  An ex that has been turned down turns to self doubt and wonders why he or she is not god enough to be with the previous ex.  Am I not good enough? Am I ugly? Or am I to stupid the ex think to himself in a manner of confusion and anger as he ponders these questions.  Which don’t forget the all important question every ex that is trying to get back with an ex ask, how do you get your ex back?

Sometimes an ex will resort to violence on them .  This can be very dangerous to deal with especially if you try to help them out on a personal level; this is not recommended for they are incredibly unstable and will not know where to go or where they have been.  If you really want to help your ex that has become unstable then you need to call the proper authorities and fill them in on what is happening and what he has done and said so far.  If it is a must then you can go and get a restraining order on your ex but keep in mind this does not protect you physically but it will protect you legally.  A restraining order does help for a little bit but will soon just make the ex even more upset.

Good luck to you and hope that my information did you some good and don’t forget there is someone out there for everybody.  We just have to find them, that can be the hard part but also the harder you are looking for someone the harder it will be to find that someone.

How To Get Your Ex Back: How to Make Her / Him Want You

Signs That Will Tell You It’s Doomed to Fail (Part 2)

All relationships go their share of bad times and good times. But if things are consistently bad then it is just an indication of things to follow.

If you have missed the first part of this , here is the link to it  Top Signs that it is doomed to fail.

6. He is abusive.

Or maybe he loves you, but maybe just too much that you can’t go out with friends, you can’t go to your boss’s birthday party, and with every guy you talk to he thinks you’re cheating. Then just out of this paranoia he will tell you nasty things like, you’re such a sl*t, you’ll never do things right, you can’t do things right, and you’ll never do anything right.

When he tells you these, think again. Nobody (not even a gorgeous Brad Pitt look-alike) has the right put you down like this. No one has the right to shatter your self-esteem just like that.

7. He’s only after your money, your car, or your apartment, or whatever material you can give him.

I hate it when this happens. He tells me he loves me, he tells me he wants to give the whole world to me, he adores me, then after a while he tells me, “I don’t have a decent pair of shoes” or, “I don’t have a decent cell phone”, or, “I don’t have the money to buy myself lunch”. Makes you want to buy him, right? Now this is the problem. There’s nothing wrong to buy him those especially when he needs it so bad. What can go so wrong with charity? But if he keeps doing that often, go back to earth, girl. It’s obvious that he’s using those “pity” ploys just to use you for whatever material thing he needs. Stop falling for it, and stop wanting him back if he’s just that.

8. You or your friends keep seeing him with another girl.

He keeps on telling you that it’s one of his cousins, or one of his friends, but your friends tell you otherwise. Come on, can you really kiss a cousin (with a lip and tongue lock)?! And see them every so often elsewhere – together? And wait. If he needs to buy a new shirt, why can’t he take you?

9. You find out that he is still married, or he has kids, and for some reason can’t file for divorce or doesn’t provide child support.

Now this is a major problem. If you’re single then you don’t deserve a guy who messed his life this way. You deserve a better guy who’s single and in all sense of the word, unattached. If you feel unlucky not to meet a single guy like that, don’t feel sorry to think that he’s the only guy left in the world. Who knows. If he did that to someone, what makes you think that he won’t do that to you? If you’d like to end up like the poor girl he got pregnant and left, and suffer like she did, then go ahead.

10. He’s just there when he needs to, you know, do it.

This is perhaps, the worst thing a guy can ever do. Ok we’re all human and we have those needs. You too have those needs. But when a guy treats you like a sex doll and leaves just right after, better use your brains now, girl. If you don’t feel offended at all, you should. For you and your life to get better you have to take care of your confidence and self esteem. And letting him abuse you like a sex doll then walk away is not a way to go. Come on. You’re not some cheap wh*re who’s just there waiting for him to unload it all to you. You surely deserve a better guy who can treat you like  a princess because trust me, no matter how few they are, good guys still exist.

Now, would you still want him back?

Best way to get your ex back – Book Reviews

Hey, Can We Meet Up?”

After going through from a breakup, perhaps after moving on, or still healing, he calls then ask you…

“I was wondering if we can still meet up.”

You tremble.  Naturally, you’re not yet over. You want him back. But all your tactics seemed to fail and it’s all hopeless. You don’t know what to do next.

Mustering all the strength to remain calm and composed, you must ask, “Why?”

Whatever answer he comes up with, you have 2 choices. Either you play the chase by saying “Sorry I can’t, I’m too busy” to keep him chase you (or at least make him wonder a lot about you), or dig deeper his real motives by saying, “Sure. When and where?”

But at this point, please do not ever think that he wants you back. Better to assume otherwise than assume such things, then when it doesn’t happen, you feel like a sore loser and wallow again in self pity. For all you know he just needs his stuff back without any need of a conversation.

So now you finally meet up. Lucky you if he shows up, and whatever feelings you may have, please act dense. This is one effective tactic because the more you show your weak emotions to a man, the more likely you will be turned away. (While if he doesn’t show up, forget it and walk away).

So when you get lucky to see him, remember these important points and tactics if you really want him to keep thinking and wondering about you.

1.      Always act casual. Remember, this is not the time to release all your emotions and tell him how devastated you were, and that you need him back. This is the perfect time to let him play his ballgame, and gain total control of it – that whatever he initiates, you are just there to play his game. Once you don’t, you are sure to ruin your chances.

2.      Play it by ear and keep a poker face. Since you are giving him the full command of the conversation, keep on answering calmly and be careful not to make any snide comments reflective of whatever emotions you may have at this moment. Treat this like a world poker tour; the more you disguise, the more chances of you winning the game even if defeat is just lurking around the corner.

3.      Let him keep guessing. When he asks, “How are you, how are the kids, how have you been all this time,” always act cool and calm and answer in brief. Avoid giving more details because once you do, you will not uncover the real reason why he wanted to meet up.

4.      Uncover the real reason by keeping your answers short and sweet so he will be compelled to go straight to the point – whatever his reservations might be.

5.      Let him keep asking. Remember, let him play his ballgame and only act as if you’re playing it with him. It’s ok to ask casual questions, but make sure, his answers too would be short and sweet to allow him to go straight to the point. If he doesn’t, and after an hour you’re still wondering, this is now the best time to ask his real purpose.

6.      Keep your tactics together. If he says, “I just want to see you. Period.” Then reply by saying, “Now you’ve seen me. Can I go now? I have to do something else.”

7.      Whatever happens, never ever  have sex with him again for old time’s sake. Even if you are desperate to get him back, this will just complicate matters because having sex with him preempts whatever healing process you should still be passing through. You may not have forgiven each other’s faults yet, and all remaining bitterness might still be there. And just with the act, you’re sure to blow your sure chances of getting him.

If you really want him back, both of you should start again on a clean slate – for you to make it last this time. You should have forgiven each other, all bitterness is gone, and both of you should make a firm resolve to get back to each other.

How to achieve that? By starting again when you first met him.

Problems in relationship? Need help to get him back?

My Top 4 Relationship BS’s

What you see in the movies don’t happen in real life. Take a good look at these top 4 and find out why:

1. Love is blind.

Being hopelessly romantic is ok, but being stupid is different. Yes it happens that you fall in love with someone who’s totally not your type, but soon enough, it will haunt you. Yes it does happen in real life, but they made it through because they were too much in love with each other that parting would never be an option. Are you sure that it’s the same with you? Are you sure you can withstand the mockery and ridicule that your kids are bound to suffer if they got the bad genes? It’s great if what lacked in looks are compensated with a great inner quality, but believe me, looks will always be important and in this unfair world we live in, we could never deny that.

2. Love at first sight.

Probably in this century, it’s only a total loser who will give you that pickup line. Attraction might be it, but never love. It’s not only a personal take that I have. But logically, and after so many failed relationships, this isn’t so true after all. Love (and the decision to love) takes time to really make it work. Never confuse attraction with love, because with attraction, it fades. True love (which is tried and tested by time) never does.

3. Love conquers all.

Dude, if this was really true, we won’t have such a high incidence of divorce in the US. Really. And we won’t have to suffer the brunt of breakups if this was really true. The real reason why couples break up is because of the true and factual notion that if it doesn’t work, it simply doesn’t work anymore. Even if 2 people still love each other, there is still the inevitable and inescapable event of a breakup. Why? It’s because we no longer live in the 15^th century. Times have evolved and so does our thinking. You’re lucky if you meet someone willing to do everything for love, but most of the time, it’s just insanity and obsession, and not love anymore.

4. Love doesn’t cost a thing.

Then why do we have high-profile divorces turning out very nasty? Because of money and property issues. They can’t decide who takes the yacht and who takes the mansion and the money. We need to eat and to survive these hard times. If a husband or father cannot support his wife and children, then that’s a bigger problem eventually leading to separation. If a boyfriend is too broke to take you out (or even feed himself that he has to depend it on you), it means to say that he’s too damn lazy to find himself work and income.

How To Get Your Ex Back: Guide Reviews

Top 5 Signs That Relationship Will Fail

Before wanting a guy back, make sure he doesn’t fall into one of these categories first. If he does, then you’re better off without him.  A guy can be so good with pickup lines and romancing you – but being careful can always work wonders and save you from unnecessary pain and hurt. It’s better to cry over a guy and want him back if he really is worth it, than wasting your tears over someone who’s totally not worth your tears.

1.      He’s only there when it’s convenient.

There’s a major difference if a guy wants to make time for you compared to a guy who just sees you as his last resort. Hello?!? You want to be with him more but he’s just given you too many excuses not to see you. When he does, better think twice. You don’t need a guy who will see you and treat you as his last option when all his friends (or girlfriends) turn him down.

2.      He doesn’t (or can’t) say he loves you.

So after 3 months of seeing him (and well, doing it with him), you’re always left to wonder whether he loves you or not. There are guys who are naturally uncomfortable expressing their feelings, but make sure that this is not another one of those excuses.  If he really is like that but makes sure he’s always there for you, and his actions can clearly tell you he loves you, then fine, accept the alibi. If you see neither, then it’s another excuse. Ergo, you’re better off to drop him.

3.      He doesn’t want you to know his family and friends.

In the adult world there might just be a multitude of reasons why you both can’t see each other’s family or friends. But one common rule is that, I don’t introduce someone into my world if I know that it’s not for the long term, or if I know at first glance that my family and friends won’t like him. This is basically the same with the male species. It only means that you’re not for keeps, that his exit is more important and whatever conveniences that he is enjoying with you at the moment. It only means that you’re not worth keeping (and not worth showing off to family and friends).

4.      He doesn’t care to know more about you.

Sister, if you’ve been going out with him for more than 3months now and he still doesn’t know (or ask about) your birthday, what college you graduated from, what degree you took, where you work, where you live, better think again. Those are very basic facts that a guy so into you would always want to know about. It’s not about socio-economic differences, but the mere fact that he wants to know means to say that, he wants to be a part of your world too. When he doesn’t want to know, it only means to say that he doesn’t want to be part of your world.

5.      Your family and friends think that he’s bad news.

Even before you attempt to introduce him to a family member or a friend, you already know what they’re going to tell you. If it’s something bad, then don’t bother introducing him. And if in case that it was unavoidable for him to meet your sister or BFF, and tells you that they don’t feel comfortable about him, you’re better off to worry. When I didn’t listen to family and friends, it only made matters worse. I realized that they just wanted the best for me, and definitely not some loser who only ruined my life. But it was too late when I did. And I hate to think that yeah, they were right. I should have listened to them.

Do you really think you can keep up with a guy who treats you so low?

(to be continued)

How To Get Your Girl Back: How to Make Her Want You : Regain Her Interest : Make Her Fall In Love

Best way to cope up with bitterness after your ex leaves you

Are you feeling  bitter because your ex left you. Bitterness is human nature; all of us go through it, and there’s no escaping. It’s an important stage for us to pass because without it, we can never learn how to reflect, grow up, forgive, and to let go.

Just keep it within sane limits. It’s one thing to confront bitterness alone, or with friends, yet it is another thing to scheme evil deeds against your ex and his new girl and execute those in the name of revenge. You don’t have to be a psycho. It’s a lot better to stay sane, stable, mature and wise rather than end up straight-jacketed in a mental asylum, and be considered a threat to the society.

1.      Let it all out. Give it days, or weeks, to really think about the nastiest things about him. Let it all consume you for days. You have to keep thinking about it so you can tire yourself and say, “Tomorrow’s going to be a different day.”

2.      Part of bitterness is to over analyze things that you shouldn’t be analyzing. They say you cannot over-examine a dead carcass of a relationship and wonder all your life what could have been if you did this or that. Well, don’t listen to them now. Because the only way to really cope with bitterness is to acknowledge that fault and keep punishing yourself. So when you say it’s over, it really is over.

3.      Feel free to confront your bitterness with just about anything – alcohol, cigarettes, just make sure you won’t go out of the bounds. Make sure you won’t drink and drive, no drunk calling, no substance abuse; these will just make matters worse. Either you’ll only land to jail, or you’ll push him away instead of naturally pulling him into you.

4.      It’s healthy to involve family and friends to your bitterness. When my cousins and friends abused him and his new girl in their absence (like them saying, “He looks like a frog anyway” or “Were you that blind? I wouldn’t go out with a balding mongrel!” or “She looks like our pug, anyway”) I just kept laughing. Of course it became natural for me to think the same. I was bitter. He dumped me. I was still recovering. And part of that recovery is, to confront my bitterness as a human being.

You see, bitterness is really something we can’t avoid. We really have to go through it in order to give our self chances to reflect – and stay brave out of that reflection. For us to really heal, forgive and have a new life of our own – free and independent from him, we have to punish ourselves further.

So one day, we will just wake up and say, “I’m sick and tired of bitterness. I don’t want to think about it anymore and today, I will choose to stop thinking about it.”

How To Get your ex Back: Make Your Ex Fall In Love Again

Healing a broken heart

There are a very few fortunate people on this planet who have no idea as to what a broken heart is. If you are one of those unfortunate ones who are staggering under the weight of a broken heart and failing to over the immense grief of losing the closest person to your heart then this is just the right article for you. Break ups are definitely not easy to handle, and the post break up trauma is even tougher to handle.

There is a trend that break ups generally follow. This trend is the “blame game”. One always feels that it was the fault of one’s partner and that he/she was not responsible in the slightest possible way. This is an area which needs to be examined by everyone post- break up. Recall everything that happened while you were in your past relation and for the first time try to think things from your ex’s point of view as well. It is likely that you will find yourself also at fault on many occasions.

While healing a broken heart the biggest obstacle is the feeling of being wronged. You feel that your ex always wronged you while you were the innocent sufferer all throughout. Once you are able to have a fair understanding of the real scenario, once you realize that you both were responsible for the break up, only then can you successfully heal your wounds.

Healing a broken heart is not easy, but when you have a clear picture of what your relation really was it becomes easier for you to accept the present.

Ways to get your ex back

What to say when he call again

You still want him back, do you? Now you’ve done your homework – you’ve moved on (after spending a fortune to these self-help books! I damn well should!), or a good 70-80% tells you that you’ve moved on, you already have a life, yes you still want him back but you’re no longer that desperate…that you’re no longer thinking of him that much…

…Then he suddenly calls.

What will you say? Rather, what should you say?

1.      Be positive. How have you been? Good start for a casual talk.

2.      Stop thinking that he called you because he now wants you back. Never entertain false assumptions at this point. It’s better to assume that he needs his stuff back, or he just wants to ask a few random questions, or maybe he’s just bored – rather than assume that he wants you back only that he doesn’t.

3.      Stop initiating talks like, “After you left, I’ve been devastated…I dated around but all I think about is you…” It’s not proper for you to start that talk even if deep down it wants to burst out of you. Stop showing him how devastated you were, it’s not going to lead you anywhere good. Trust me. Let him start that, not you. If you really want him back, let him keep guessing.

4.      Don’t start talking about all the bad things that happened when you broke up. If he starts it, then fine go talk about it, but make sure you avoid all the bitterness and anger. It’s human nature to feel those emotions, but you don’t have to show him. A sign of a mature, intelligent, and emotionally stable adult is to acknowledge that yes, you’re still hurt, you’re still healing, but you have to let your logic rule your life now.

5.      Once he starts talking about his new girl, or how happy he’s been without you, YOU DON’T HAVE TO SHOW HIM YOU’RE STUNG. Just keep it inside you first. Cry on it later when he hangs up. But now that you’re still talking to him, you have these following options:

a.       “Let’s not talk about it yet. I’m still healing, I hope you understand.”

b.      “Really? Good for you.” Then roll your eyes and talk about something else.

6.      Then out of nowhere say, “Hey I gotta go.” Even if you want the whole day to talk to him, your easy exit will be your best tactic to let him chase you. Remember, you have to play games sometimes to get what you want.

Always remember that the rule here is to keep him guessing. Once a man does, he’ll keep on wondering about you and he won’t stop thinking what the heck happened – when before you were so eager and desperate to want him back. This is a good start to make him think about you more often.

How To Get Your Ex Back: Make Your Ex Fall In Love Again

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