Breaking Up Can Be Easy

Not all relationships are meant to last forever. Many, if not most, are simply stepping stones to the happily ever after relationship that you’ll enjoy at the right time in your life. Admittedly, a lot of break ups are messy and hurt a lot. However, they don’t always have to be that way. This is especially true if the couples involved can see that their relationship has most likely run its course. Rather than force it and try to resuscitate a dying relationship, it’s usually better to part ways with as much respect for each other as possible. If you stay too long, it will only get worse and you’ll leave hating someone that your sun once set upon.

The first thing to do in a flagging relationship is to gauge just how bad things are and decide if there’s a chance to repair any damage that’s been done. If the answer is yes, then your next step is to begin what you need to do to get things back on track. Many times a relationship can just derail for some reason and it can be put back together. You and your partner need to decide if that’s the case with your relationship.

The next thing you need to decide is whether or not you care enough to put the effort, energy and work needed to repair your relationship. Believe it or not, sometimes you just fall out of love with someone. It’s not something that either of you did. It’s just something that is. This is another of those cases where you don’t resuscitate it if it’s truly dead. Neither of you will get anything positive from this. Part as friends while you still can.

Sometimes the actions of a partner can lead you to the decision of ending the relationship. This can be many things. Some partners pack up and leave every time there’s an argument. Of course, they always come back but, seriously, who wants to go through that all the time? Others are abusive in different ways, whether it’s physical, mental, emotional or verbal. No one deserves to have to put up with that. Then there are the partners that just can’t seem to stop cheating. Obviously, you and your relationship isn’t very important to your partner. Actually, any or all of these actions that are performed repeatedly can erode any feelings of love that you thought you had for this person. Believe it or not, their actions are helping you to make a hard decision that much easier.

Breakups can be easy once you realize that’s what needs to happen. In fact, that can sometimes be all that you need to find the words to say and the strength to walk away. Depending on the reasons for the breakup, it may even be possible to remain friends, or to become friends at some point in the future. Many times you have to follow your head rather than your heart because your head usually knows what you have to do. All you need to do is just listen to what it’s telling you.

Surviving a Relationship Break Up

Not all relationships are meant to last. In fact, most of them are simply stepping stones to the main event. Because of this, you’ll most likely experience several relationship break ups as you move through your life. While this is true, it’s also true that each break up will most likely hurt equally and you’ll spend too much time wishing that you could make the pain go away. Believe it or not, there are ways to survive a break up without too much wear and tear on your heart.

First of all, let yourself feel the grief. Many people compare the ending of a relationship to the death of someone they care about. Actually, it IS a sort of death. That’s why you need to deal with the grief that you feel. Give yourself time to absorb the fact that your relationship is over and let that pain wash over you. Then, after a suitable mourning period, take the steps to putting your life back in balance once more.

Don’t turn away your friends. They only want to help and, besides, you’ll need someone to talk to. Friends that you trust can be the best thing that you can do for yourself in your time of pain. They’ll do everything they can to help you move through this negative point in your life because they care about you. This support will help you immeasurably; so let them be there for you.

Get rid of everything that makes you feel sad all over again about the end of the relationship. This means pictures, gifts, clothing or anything else that you may have kept as a memento of this time in your life. If you can’t bear to totally throw it all away, pack it up and let a friend keep it for you until you’re at a point where you can deal with seeing it again.

Don’t jump right back into the dating game immediately. However, it’s a great idea to go out with friends and have some fun. When you isolate yourself, it only makes things worse. So you need to be out and about with people that care about you.

Try to force some positive thinking. It won’t be easy at first. Actually, it may be impossible. But if you try to think of at least one positive thing every day, you’ll eventually find that these positive thoughts come to you unbidden. Basically, the more you make yourself smile, the easier it will become. Before you know it, these smiles will be genuine.

Just like a death, the ending of a relationship becomes better with time. Sooner or later, you’ll find that you’re thinking about your ex less and less until, finally, one day you’ll go to bed at night and suddenly realize that you didn’t think about the past relationship once all day. That’s when you know that the worst is over. You’re well on your way, then, to completely recovering and moving on with your life.

I Miss My Ex Boyfriend

After you break up with a guy, there is a period of loneliness. Not only are you missing the time that you spent with him, but there is also a piece of your heart that walked out the door when he did. If you are saying “I miss my ex boyfriend,” here are some ways to get past the feeling.

There are two steps to getting over an ex. The first is to bring closure to the relationship and the second is to start on the next phase of your life.

Closure is the psychological term for ending a phase of one’s life. There are many things you can do to stop saying “I miss my ex boyfriend.”

First of all, you should determine that he doesn’t want you back. As long as you think that there is a chance you can get back together, you will not begin to heal.

To that end, exchange all of the physical possessions you have. Don’t keep his toothbrush in your bathroom or hold on to his leather jacket. If you have left clothes or other possessions at his house, pick them up.

If either of you owes the other money, pay it back as soon as possible.

Don’t contact him and don’t let him contact you. Perhaps you can be friends in the future, but right now, you need time to separate your emotional lives. If you give in and answer his phone calls, emails, or texts, you are just letting a wound fester.

If you find yourself saying “I miss my ex boyfriend,” sit down and write about it. Write a letter to him sharing your feelings about the relationship and the break up. But don’t send it to him. Throw it away, or even better, burn it. This will help you bring closure to the relationship.

After you’ve gotten over the initial hurt of the break up, start putting yourself out there again. It might feel awkward at first, but you are going to have to face life as a single person sometime. The sooner you get back on the scene, the sooner you will meet someone new.

If your ex took up a big part of your life, you will want to find new past times. This may mean reconnecting with your girlfriends. Or, it may mean going out and finding new friends.

One of the best ways to fill the space an old boyfriend took up is to start something new. Join a class or a co-ed sports team. See if your local book store has a monthly book club. Start going to church again.

While it may be hard to get started on the social scene again, you will find that you miss your ex boyfriend much less when you are engaged in activities you enjoy.

When you have the opportunity to, start dating again. Even if the first guy isn’t someone you can see spending the rest of your life with, accept his invitation to dinner or the movies. As you get back into the routine of dating, you will be able to find a man who can appreciate and love you.

Whenever you hear yourself thinking “I miss my ex boyfriend,” do something that either brings closure to the relationship or propels you to move forward in your life.

I Lost Love – Every Relationship Has a Time Line

When I think about how I lost love, I think about Alfred Lord Tennyson’s quote, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” When I lost love, I felt the whole world had collapsed around me. I’m sharing my story in order to help you if you too have lost the love of your life.

I think it is important to remember that every relationship has a natural lifespan. In Junior High, that’s about four days. As we get older, the lifespan increases. But, there are certain relationships that are right for a period of time and then go awry. Most of us will only have one great love in our lives. The other relationships will terminate. That’s why when I say I lost love, I understand that this is a natural process.

In my case, my girlfriend and I were thinking about ratcheting up our relationship. Her lease was about to end, and she wanted to move into my apartment. As we were spending most of our time there anyway, it made sense from a financial perspective.

But there is something significant about having separate places. I know I lost love because I couldn’t handle her taking our relationship to this level. I guess the time span of our relationship was up because I wasn’t willing to become more committed.

Now, I know I handled the situation badly. I went to a friend’s bachelor party and let’s just say things got out of hand. Word about the wild antics at the party got back to my girlfriend, naturally, and she dumped me. I lost love over the events of one night.

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But, when I think back on what really happened, the events of the bachelor party were really a reaction to our discussion of more commitment. I seriously don’t think I would have behaved the way I did if I really wanted her to move in. I lost love because I wasn’t ready for the direction it was taking.

I’m glad I had the chance to be in a relationship with my ex. But I don’t think she was the love of my life, my soul mate. Instead, she was someone with whom I genuinely enjoyed spending time. I loved her. I still love her. But, she is not the person with whom I see spending the rest of my life.

I went through a period of mourning the relationship and analyzing what went wrong. I really was hurt when she said she wanted to end things. Sure, I understood that I had hurt her. But, I didn’t want her to leave my life completely.

I guess what I wanted was for things to continue on the way they were. But, every relationship has to grow or die. Because I wasn’t willing to let it grow, it had to die. In every relationship, there is a time to die. And, for me, this was it. That’s how I lost love.

Biggest Relationship Blunders Commited By Women

What are the common mistakes women commit when it comes to men? This is a question which has been asked over and over again in my relationship newsletter. So here they are :

• Calling him too often (stop chasing him so he can chase YOU)

• Asking him where this relationship is going (oh no, you didn’t)

• Spilling your guts to him about anything (save it for your shrink)

• Getting overly emotional at the wrong time (meanwhile he wasn’t)

• Angry outbursts (that wasn’t yelling, that was loud talking)

• Rudeness (yikes – did he see your claws?)

• Acting insecure and clingy (further driving him away)

• Bringing up the subject of commitment WAY too soon

• Talking too much about the future (he says he’s not ready)

• Telling him about your past (now he knows too much)

Do you know where I got it from? I got it from a great website which covers the topic extensively. I encourage you to check it out. Its called Man Mistake Erasers

Mimi Tanner the author of the program points out a whole raft of things women get wrong ( with all good intentions though). What if you have already committed those mistakes, don’t worry she covers that too. The program covers  classes on :

“Don’t Say ‘I Love You’ First…and How To Recover If You Did”, wow even love needs discipline???

Check it out at Man Mistake Erasers

Ending A Relationship – How To Stay Strong

Ending a relationship is one of the hardest things we sometimes have to do. It’s difficult when you’re the one that gets dumped, but even if it’s you ending a relationship, there are many painful emotions to deal with.

It’s especially difficult if the relationship is ending over things that don’t seem that important but ended up being insurmountable. Breakups are easier when one person is cheating or treating the other badly. At least when you break up with someone you know that you won’t be subjected to that behavior anymore.

But when you’re ending a relationship over things you might normally think of as small things you can end up doubting your decision a lot, especially right at first when things seem loneliest. It’s all too easy to convince yourself that things weren’t so bad after all, you miss your ex, and you should just get back together with him or her.

It’s important, however, to stay strong after you’ve broken up with your boyfriend or girlfriend. And if you find yourself doubting your decision, you need to think back to the things that made you want to break up in the first place.

When there’s no specific horrible thing like cheating or abuse to think on, it can be easy to tell yourself that the relationship wasn’t so bad after all, and you must have just been exaggerating. But really examine your feelings.

If you ended the relationship because he was just not there for you when you needed him, think back on how you felt when you really needed a shoulder to cry on and he wasn’t there, or he wasn’t open for that. Is it likely if you get back together with him that he’ll start being there for you? Hadn’t you already told him you needed that time and time again?

If it just didn’t feel “right” and you just didn’t have strong enough feelings for him, then when you find yourself sad and lonely it can be really easy to tell yourself you were wrong. You might decide that you can develop feelings for him, and that you just didn’t try hard enough before.

This might be the hardest thing to keep believing, because it is very easy to second guess ourselves when ending a relationship. But sometimes we can like someone, and even feel love for them, without the possibility of that ever turning into romantic love.

No matter how hard you try, if you’re not in love with someone and they’re just not the one for you, you’re not going to be able to force it to happen. Focus your energies on something else instead.

If you were close and you miss him but could not feel that special romantic love for him, really work hard at figuring out how you feel now. There’s no rule that says you can’t keep a close relationship with an ex. Ending a relationship completely might not be necessary, because you could end up being the best of friends.

Best Ways to Get Back at Your Ex

Is you are going though a breakup , I am sure you are on the look out for ways to get back at your ex. It is one of the hardest emotions to go through. Relationships are fragile bonds that need to be built up and maintained in order to keep them healthy and allow them to flourish.

Unfortunately, break ups do happen, and they are nerve wracking, stressful and frustrating. If you are involved in a relationship that breaks up, you may be thinking that you want to get back at your ex but is this really the best step to take? One of the most influential ways that you can actually get back at your ex will not only put your ex in an interesting predicament, but it may also repair the

relationship by showing your ex how important you are and were to them. So not only are these 5 tips to get back at your ex but they are also excellent methods for getting your ex back as well.

1 – Be strong. No one needs the needy, and this saying applies very well when it comes to broken up relationships. You need to stop begging, clinging or exhibiting the behavior of someone who is feeling desperate. Let your ex think that you have moved on just fine without them by acting strong and moving on. When you’ve moved on, your ex will realize that they have not.

2 – Minimize communication. Closing the doors of communication may appear counterintuitive when your primary focus is to rekindle things, but it is one of the most important steps when getting back at your ex or getting your ex back. Take a break from your ex, close off communication, and let him or her stew for a little while without any contact. This will allow your ex to clear his or her mind and realize how valuable your relationship was.

3 – Be flexible. Do not be forceful with your ex, demanding that they move out, or pick their things up by a certain date. Be flexible, be a listener and a sympathizer. Your ex will be surprised when they see this side of you, and it may inspire them to build the lines of communication that were lacking when the breakup came into play.

4 – Get the heck out! This is no time for you to be alone. Call your friends and get out of the house. Develop a social network and enjoy some entertainment in your life. This may not mean you need to date,or even pay attention to the opposite sex, but you do need to be getting out and enjoying your time with your friends. Not only will this be therapeutic for you, but it will also help convince your ex that they lost a gem.

5 – Simply be yourself. There was a really good reason for why you and your ex had a relationship to begin with, so go back to being yourself and let your ex remember why they loved you in the first place. This renewed self perception of your own self will surely rub off on your ex as well.

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Does My Boyfriend Really Love Me

If you ask yourself, “Does my boyfriend really love me?” you probably wonder how you could know for sure. Especially if you’ve ever been in a bad relationship or had a boyfriend who said he loved you but was a cheat. Those types of things lead you doubt other people. In fact, you might always wonder, “Does my boyfriend really love me?” no matter how much he shows it.

There are signs to watch for, though. Aside from him telling you he loves you, there are little things a boyfriend does that show his true feelings. And those are often a stronger indicator of his affection for you than anything he could say. Next time you wonder, “Does my boyfriend really love me?” stop and think about these things.

• How does he treat you in public? When you’re with other people, does his treatment of you change?

• Does he treat you with respect? Does he say please and thank you like he would to any stranger?

• How much does he expect of you? Does he demand that you overcompensate for every nice thing he does for you?

• Does he treat your family with respect, and try to make a good impression with them?

• Does he take you for granted, and not let you know how much he appreciates you and all that you do for him?

“Does my boyfriend really love me?” is a question everyone asks. If you answered no to any of those point above, that doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t love you. But if you answered no to more than one, you should look carefully at his actions.

He may say he loves you every day, several times, but nothing gives away his true feelings quite like his actions. In fact, someone who says it too much might be doing so to try to convince himself, or you, that it’s true when it really isn’t.

If he treats you like you’re precious when you’re alone but acts as if you’re not there when you’re with your friends, think about why that might be. Someone who loves you should be able to show it no matter where you are or whom you’re with.

And a boyfriend who treats your friends and family with respect is much more likely to feel genuine love for you than one who disses your family or doesn’t seem to want to even interact with them at all.

A boyfriend who truly cares about you will want to be able to get along with the people you care about. And while thoughts of marriage may be years away, he knows that alienating your family would be a poor choice in the even that you did want to marry.

The most important thing when trying to figure out whether your boyfriend really loves you or not is simply to notice what he does. Next time you ask yourself, “Does my boyfriend really love me?” pay attention to his actions, and you’ll have your answer.

Steps For Surviving A Break Up

Surviving a break up is a painful experience. You may feel rejected. You may be doubting your own self worth. You may not feel like getting out of bed in the morning. One thing that may help you is to know that most people have already gone about the process of surviving a break up and have come out stronger for it.

Here are some of the steps for surviving a break up.

First of all, allow yourself to mourn the end of the relationship. Your ex was almost like an appendage to you. You identified him or her as a part of you. You were two halves of a couple. Just as you would be lost if your right arm was cut off, losing a significant other can be painful.

So, spend some time grieving for the relationship’s end. It can actually be a healthy thing to do.

But at some point (hopefully soon), you have to move on. You will need to go through a process of being angry at your ex. He or she hurt you and you have every right to feel mad at them.

Here’s a tip for surviving a break up in the anger stage. Write a long letter to your ex spilling out your guts about how you feel. Put every emotion, experience, and feeling into the letter. But don’t mail it to them. Whatever you do, don’t mail it. Instead, light a candle and burn it slowly over the flame. As your letter goes up in smoke, release your anger.

At this point, it is time to start rebuilding your life. Surviving a break up means getting back into the game. You should definitely lean on the support of friends and family during this difficult time. The people closest to you will understand that you are having trouble putting your life back together and they should offer you the support that you need to heal.

Also, you should look for activities that spark your interest. Perhaps there were things that your ex didn’t like to do with you that you’ve missed. Renew your interest in these things. If you have had a lifelong desire to learn something, there’s no time like after a break up to try. You will probably make new friends when you start a new activity and you might even meet a love interest who shares your passion.

At some point, you will want to start dating again. Don’t expect your first few dates to turn into lifetime relationships. Just test the waters. Go out for coffee or a drink. Have fun and don’t be too serious about these things.

Surviving a break up is always a painful process. But, you are capable of moving on with your life. Look at the end of the relationship as a chance for growth. Millions of people have survived a split with their ex and you will too.

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Are You In A Love Depression

Are you in a love depression? This is where your heart has been broken and you feel low about it. You may believe that you will never have another romance. Here’s what to do if you are in a love depression.

First of all, you need to recognize that, however painful, this is a temporary period in your life. You will get through your love depression. But, you may need help.

Turn to your friends and family during this tough period in your life. They will always be there for you. Don’t be afraid to cry on their shoulders. One of the ways you will know when you have come out of the love depression is when you yourself are bored with talking about your ex.

But, if your friends and family get tired of hearing about your ex before you are healed, it may behoove you to go into counseling. A trained therapist can help you work through the break up issues. By talking to a counselor, you will be able to identify many issues in your life. Some of these will be about why you and your ex broke up. Others will help you be a better boyfriend or girlfriend in the future.

Sometimes talk therapy isn’t enough. When this happens, you need to see a psychiatrist who can put you on anti-depressant medication. Prozac, Paxil, and other SSRIs can make a big difference in how you feel about the world. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for medical help when you need it.

There are other things you can do for yourself when you are in a love depression. For instance, when you go to the gym to work out, you not only improve your body, you also improve your mood. Getting your body moving sends chemicals to the brain which elevate your mood.

Pampering yourself can also help you believe that you are a worthwhile person. Getting a massage can bring a physical relief to your weary body.

Sometimes eating, in moderation, can soothe your soul. Chocolate, ice cream, and comfort foods all help ease the pain of a break up. Don’t overdo it and gain too much weight though, because you don’t want to ruin your physique.

Perhaps the best tonic for love depression though, is falling in love with someone new. Remember that in order to do that, you have to get back in the game. Don’t believe that you have to be 100 percent ready for a new relationship before you start dating again. When someone asks you out or strikes your fancy, have coffee with them. Go to the ballgame with a friend who might be interested in being more.

At some point, you have to get back on the dating scene. Whether talking to your friends, going into therapy, getting some psychiatric medication, or treating your condition yourself, you need to work out a way to cure your love depression. The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll feel a lot better.

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