After you beg, he simply doesn’t want you back

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This is what I really hate about breakups, there’s always the tendency to want him back and this is regardless of who ended it and why. You miss him, you miss the fun times you used to have together, you miss his family, his crazy antics, how he makes you laugh in a middle of a really stressful day, how he makes you feel protected and loved, how he took care of me and the kids. So naturally I wanted him back, because life is totally different without him now. And I can’t take the depression. I remembered crying for over 5mos, nobody can ever comfort me, I think that was the worst kind of depression I’ve had since coming from a broken family myself, I didn’t want to end up in a broken one too.

I did all what I can do and all the advice I got from those self-help books, but I guess my case was a lot different from the situations they contemplated when these people wrote their self-help books. This can’t simply take him back. Or maybe I was just too obsessed to force it when I shouldn’t have done it in the first place.

So naturally I became all the more depressed. The kind of depression that I had before I begged him doubled and all the more complicated since I was already 3 months pregnant on our second baby. I simply could not accept defeat. Here’s a list of what I did to help myself out.

1.Accept the fact – maybe only for now – that it still can’t be. But this is not to entertain any false hope.

I already did my best, but my best wasn’t clearly enough. This situation would now call for the power of time and distance. When I ignored the importance of acceptance, things only became worse. I made a complete fool out of myself and erased whatever remaining confidence and self-esteem I had. When I didn’t get the results that I wanted, I only got all the more obsessed. Fine, everyone can be so desperate at times. But I am not a lunatic. I am still psychologically stable and sane to logically think if it can’t be after diligently exhausting all my efforts, there’s nothing else I can do.

2.Forgive him and myself for everything. Stop the bitterness.

It’s unavoidable to think of his flaws and shortcomings just to justify the feelings of a shattered ego. Only to find out that the more I thought about the bitterness and revenge, it dragged me down. Psychologically, I found out that the more negative thoughts and feelings I entertained, the more it upsets my way of thinking, and the way I perceive things. And all these negative thoughts and perceptions have indirectly influenced the circumstances around me and blocked all the positive that I should be attracting. More bitterness only led to added bitterness and hate. And I couldn’t think straight. I was too busy being bitter to find better opportunities, or a new source of income, I ignored the fun times I had with my baby, my family, and my friends. Because bitterness consumed all of me, I overlooked so many details of my life and career. So I decided to finally stop all the negative. I realized, I can only move on if I learn to forgive him and myself, so I can really move on.

3. Acknowledge his happiness without you.

If he says he’s happier without you, gracefully accept defeat. You’ll only make things worse if you force it now. If he’s happier without you now, maybe it’s high time for me to make myself happy without him too.

4.I deserve to be peaceful and happy too. Even without him.

Now this lies in my power of choice. I have the choice to stay depressed, constantly think of revenge, and make things worse for all of us, or, to make myself and everyone around me happy. Not only after choosing the former did I realize the advantage of the latter. I got too tired of crying and depression. I got tired of thinking revenge. I got fed up with myself for thinking that way. When I decided to give myself the happiness I deserve, I realized, it was better this way.

So my focus returned to the joy of being with my kid, caring for her and having so much fun playing with her, I enjoyed my friends’ company more, and I learned to appreciate my family more. I have enjoyed my career too when I decided to stop thinking of him. It was unavoidable, yes, but I decided to stop dwelling on those thoughts of him. This will really take time and a lot of practice, but it’s really worth it because now I feel loads better.

I enjoyed life without him that I found myself not thinking about him anymore. So when he called one day, I got all the more surprised. That was a better feeling compared to the feeling of wanting him to call – but never did.

How To Get Your Man Back: How to Get a Commitment : How to Make Him Want You : Regain His Interest : Make Him Fall In Love

Just before I finish off  I want to leave you with this video which I found, Its the promo for the movie ” The Notebook”. Love can be like that.

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How to get your ex back