Do You REALLY Want Your Ex Back

Breakups are hard, there’s no doubt about that. The ending of a relationship is one of the most painful things that anyone can experience. It’s been said to be very close to experiencing the death of a loved one. When you think about it, the end of a relationship IS a death of some sort, and it’s a death that certainly hurts no less than that of a physical death. Ending a relationship hurts even worse when you’re the one that doesn’t want it to be over.

The first thing you most likely do is spend days crying, moping, and praying that your ex will return and beg you to reconcile. You’ll make every bargain under the sun with God, the Universe or whatever higher power you believe in. If your ex will just come back to you, you’ll stop smoking, cut down on your drinking, become a nicer person, and anything else you feel may be good as a bargaining chip. This is probably the worst stage of your breakup grief.

When you finally become clear headed enough to think about things, take a mental look at what caused the breakup. If it was because one of you was cheating, that’s a clear sign that something was wrong with the relationship initially. It may have been that your ex is just not someone that can be faithful to just one person. That situation is not something you should want to be involved in. Serial cheaters only make for the most miserable partners in a relationship. So, unless you’re somewhat of a masochist, you probably don’t want to revisit this relationship. Let your ex go while you can. He can’t possibly be that much of a catch to warrant putting up with constant cheating.

Were you mistreated in the relationship, either physically or emotionally? Some men are just mean. They talk out of both sides of their mouths, telling you they love you one minute and then calling you “stupid” the next. When you’re treated this way, it is definitely not love. No one treats the person they love badly. If this was your situation, you should consider yourself lucky that you’re no longer involved with an abusive individual.

When you really start to think about the true reasons you’re no longer in a relationship, that’s also the time to seriously consider whether or not you even want this ex back. There are some people that just aren’t meant to be in committed relationships. They’re little more than animals with all of their bed hopping and their abusive nature. If your ex is like that, you’re better off being alone for the time being.

Do yourself a favor. Don’t do anything to try to get your ex back. Instead, move ahead with your life and find someone that’s more interested in being in a real relationship with you. When you do that, you’ll find that leaving the past behind is sometimes the very best thing you can do.

How do Those Happy Couples DO it?

Everyone has seen those couples that seem to always be happy. These are the ones that are always holding hands, or otherwise touching, and smiling CONSTANTLY? They don’t seem to ever want to really be apart from each other, but they’re also rather social in that they entertain quite often and usually accept invitations to go out with their friends. Occasionally, they do go out and engage in separate activities with their own friends but that’s not quite as often as they go out together. These are rare couples and everyone wants to know how in the hell they’re doing it. Don’t they EVER fight? Is it all really just an act for the public?

Believe or not, there are couples that are genuinely happy together. These are the same couples that you see practically glowing in public. They may even leave you scratching your head in confusion or just feeling extremely envious that your relationships never seem to work out quite that well. Before you spend too much time being jealous and wishing you were them, take a look at some things that these happy couples probably do that you AREN’T doing:

Communicating with each other: Keeping the lines of communication open is a vital part of every relationship. These happy couples are most likely doing their part to talk over any issues that may arise between them as well as just talking about things in general. This is at the top of all lists for having and maintaining a happy relationship.

Disagreeing doesn’t have to mean fighting: Don’t assume that these couples never disagree about anything. Most likely, they simply have a more civilized way of handling these matters when they arise. Disagreements don’t have to lead to screaming and yelling at each other. All you really need to do is sit down and figure it out together.

Learning the art of compromise: When a couple works together rather than having one partner get their way all the time, that’s the art of compromise. Even couples that have a LOT of things in common aren’t going to love EVERYTHING the same. Rather than fighting it out, they work out a compromise so that they both get to do things that they enjoy. It’s not that hard when so much can be gained from it.

You each have a life: While becoming a couple means that you should be doing a lot of things together, it doesn’t mean that you HAVE to do EVERYTHING together. You can still each have your own lives and live cohesively in that way. The independence can actually bring couples even closer together. Remember, in order to miss someone, you have to be apart from them on occasion.

Those may sound overly simple but both partners must work at them to make a successful relationship. Love is the vital ingredient in relationships but it’s how you mix in the other things with that love that will decide whether you can have that enviable relationship or not.

Communication, Communication, Communication

You probably know just how fond real estate agents are of saying “Location, location, location” when they’re attempting to sell some poor unsuspecting buyer a “fixer upper” also known as “a dump.” They do their best to point out that, although the place really IS something squatters wouldn’t touch, that you can FIX all of that! The thing you cannot fix is where it’s located and that the location is the most important part of the deal.

Much the same can be said regarding relationships. In other words, if you want a successful relationship, it’s all about “Communication, communication, communication.” You can have a half assed relationship going on but the only way you’re ever going to make it more than it is, or keep it maintained, is by communicating with each other. It’s a really simple concept. If you’re not talking to each other, then you’re not communicating. By not communicating, you’re not getting to know each other.

Quite definitely, talking is the only way that you’ll ever learn everything you need to know about your partner. This, in turn, helps you to know what they want and need from you in a relationship. It also lets them know what you want and need from them. If no one is ever talking about anything other than the weather and what you’ll be having for dinner that night, you can live as virtual strangers for years. Yes, you may THINK that you’re content in your relationship. But when you aren’t communicating with each other, there’s nothing more than a roommate situation going on.

Think about when you first met. Didn’t you talk for hours late into the night? Whether that was on the phone or online at first, you didn’t want to say goodbye, even for a little while. Then when you first moved in together, didn’t you stay awake until all hours of the night talking? Those were the most exciting and intimate times during your relationship.

Guess what. If you want to keep your relationship on track and moving in a positive direction, you have to still do things like that on occasion. As you’re together over a long period of time, each of you is going through your own personal changes. If you’re not still communicating with each other, then you’re missing out on what these changes mean. Communication is essential if the two of you intend to grow together rather than apart because you’ve become strangers to each other.

You have to keep that communication going or, one day, one of you will wake up and find that you don’t belong in this relationship anymore because you no longer know anything about your partner’s life. Don’t let that happen to you. If you’ve got a decent relationship going now, it’s the time to work on maintaining it. In order to do that, remember that it’s “Communication, communication, communication.” When you stop talking to each other, the relationship is usually on the way out, so do whatever you have to do to keep that bond between the two of you.

You Could Be Deliberately Sabotaging Good Relationships

Many people go through life wondering why they’re not in a relationship, or why none of their relationships ever work out. Believe it or not, the answer to this dilemma may be as simple as looking in the mirror. Before you start to shake your head and object, it’s important to understand that you may be the one that’s sabotaging any attempt at romance that comes your way. Think about it seriously and see if you recognize yourself in the following:

You always seem to choose men that are emotionally unavailable: This means that the only men you seem attracted to are those that are married or otherwise involved. You may also choose those men that are still carrying torches for their exes or even women that never wanted anything to do with them. When you only go after these types of men, you’re sabotaging yourself before you even get off the ground. These men will never be able to commit to you romantically and, subconsciously, you know it. This may be something you need to think about as to why you deliberately go after men that you can never have.

When you’re finally in a good relationship, you cheat on your partner: This is another one of those situations that you’re bringing about on your own. If you have a great guy who really loves you and you can see a future with him, why would you go out and have some tawdry fling of some sort? Not only that, but you may also ensure that your partner finds out that you’ve done this. You need to figure out why you would deliberately do something like this that you KNOW will ruin what you’ve currently got. It’s important to know why you would sabotage a good relationship in this way.

You nit-pick everything about your partner: This typically happens once you’re in a relationship that seems to be actually heading somewhere—-like down the aisle. You start running scared for whatever reason and try as hard as you can to find everything under the sun wrong with your partner. These are usually really stupid things like you don’t like the way he squeezes the toothpaste tube, or he leaves the toilet seat up. Even if he doesn’t do either of those things, you’ll go even further to find something else that you don’t like. In fact, there’s nothing wrong with him. You’re just trying your best to find a reason to not love him so you can break up with him.

These aren’t the only things that you may be doing to sabotage the chance for a romantic relationship for yourself, but they’re the top ones. If you see yourself in any or all of these situations, you may want to seek therapy so that you can find out why you would say that you want a relationship more than anything in the world all the while you’re doing all you can to make sure that doesn’t happen. Only then will you be able to figure what you need to know so that you can have a great relationship, too.

How to Know if He’s The One

One question that most women ask themselves at some point in a relationship is whether or not this man could be The One. Believe it or not, this isn’t as cut and dried as it may seem that it should be. Not all women have the intuitive “knowing” when they meet the man they’re meant to spend the rest of their lives with. However, there are some questions that you can ask yourself in trying to sort all of this out. In fact, you and your partner can both answer these to see where he’s at when it comes to the question of forever:

1. Do you and your partner argue frequently over nothing?

2. Do either or both of your confront issues by using biting sarcasm?

3. Are you staying in this relationship because you’re afraid to leave?

4. Do you have very little in common with each other?

5. Are either of you too dependent on your parents?

6. Are there signs of any verbal, sexual or physical abuse within your relationship?

7. Do you stay away from talking about sensitive topics so that there won’t be an argument or because you’re afraid of your partner’s reaction to the topic?

8. Does your partner complain about fake pains and aches a lot?

9. Does your partner have a ton of excuses to not find a job?

10. Do you or your partner have any type of addiction like drugs, alcoholism, pornography or gambling?

11. Does your partner deliberately stay away from others and prefer to stay alone?

12. Do you always do whatever it is that your partner wants to do?

13. Does your partner hurt themselves, have extreme and irrational fears, exhibit bizarre behavior, or are they unable to show affection?

14. Do you have an overly jealous partner that questions you constantly about where you’re going, where you’ve been and where you are?

15. Does your partner demand that you meet their expectations while also being overly critical of you?

16. Have you and your partner been dishonest regarding your sexual past?

17. Are you uneasy regarding your relationship?

18. Do your parents and/or friends strongly object to your relationship?

19. Do you feel as if you’re settling for less than what you want in a relationship?

20. Does your relationship have a spiritual harmony?

Now, if you answer yes to some of these questions, that doesn’t mean your current relationship is doomed. Instead, it shows that you need to re-assess your situation and, maybe, even seek some counseling. There are a lot of issues on this list can be quickly resolved so that the foundation of your relationship becomes even stronger. On the other hand, if you had a yes answer to questions 3, 6, 10 or 13, it’s very important that you get some professional help immediately. Those are issues that will last longer and marriage isn’t going to fix the problems. In fact, marriage might only make things worse.

Breaking Bad Relationship Habits

You’re so excited! You’ve just met Mr. Right—-again! Yes, all of those other 35 guys that you THOUGHT were Mr. Right really weren’t, but you know in your heart that THIS one is the right one! It’s time to call all of your friends and tell them about this man. You might even hint to a few of them that they should start saving for bridesmaids dresses. It’s a little odd to you that none of them seem quite as excited for you as you thought they would be. In fact, one of them even said, “We’ll see.”

The reason that your friends may not be so thrilled for you is that they’ve learned to cautiously withhold their enthusiasm for a little while. They know what your pattern is whether you do or not. Typically, it goes like this: You meet a guy somewhere. The location isn’t really important. The two of you spend the evening talking until it’s time to go home. Then, you either go home with him or take him home with you and have sex with him right out of the gate. Whether he stays for breakfast or not, you’re on the phone calling all of your friends as soon as he’s out the door. The problem is that these “relationships” typically last about as long as it took you to make those phone calls, and your friends know it.

While just about everyone has a one night stand once in a while, they’re not generally the best way to start off a committed relationship. Guys think about those things differently than most women. If you have sex with a guy the same night you meet him, he probably thinks that you’re just looking for a good time, like HE is. Don’t be shocked if he never calls you again and pretends he doesn’t know who you are if the two of your accidently bump into each other.

Having sex too quickly is only one of the bad habits that people develop in trying to land that elusive relationship. Being too possessive and jealous is another real issue for some. In addition, no one likes a clinger. Most men tend to appreciate women that know what they want and are independent enough to get it. There are SOME guys that like a clingy woman, but that’s a totally different issue.

If you see yourself immediately latching on to a guy, having sex with him within hours of meeting him, clinging to him like there’s no tomorrow, assuming that he’s now “yours” and other girls better keep their hands OFF, then you need to re-think your strategy. Take time to get to know him before jumping into bed with him. Don’t call or text him 100 times a day. Lead your own life even though you’ll make time to be with him, too. Above all, avoid showing jealousy and possessiveness because that will make him run away faster than anything.

When you meet the next potential Mr. Right, you’ll know sooner or later if he really IS or not by staying away from those past bad relationship habits.

How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Most women are very emotional when it comes to relationships. For them, falling in love is the most wonderful experience. Whenever a guy breaks up with his girlfriend, the most painful part usually comes from the girl. Despite the emotions she’s going through, a girl will do everything to get her boyfriend back. In this article are seven tips on how to get your ex boyfriend back.

• Ask yourself this question: what made him decide to break up with you? Look back at the causes of your break up. Also ask yourself these questions: did you become too lax with your relationship to the extent that you took it for granted? Did you become too clingy in handling the relationship? If your answer is yes, then you’ll know what to do next – resolve.
• Limit your contact with him. As much as possible, don’t be the first one to make a move in contacting him. Set a time for yourself by hanging out with your friends. There may be times that you can’t avoid seeing each other because of mutual friends. If this happens, try to ignore or pretend like you don’t know him.
• Stop crying a lot. Letting the tears run from your eyes is a normal thing, since this is a way to let the pain go. However, don’t let these tears be a reason for you to give up your other priorities such as work and family. Its okay to cry, but don’t let it affect your other commitments.
• Don’t take revenge against your boyfriend. When you think of such things like revenge, you’re making him feel envious of you. One of the most common ways of revenging is pretentiously introducing an acquaintance as your new boyfriend or girlfriend.
• Do not pressure your guy to make it up to you. When dealing with the breakup, don’t immediately say these words: “Please love me” and “You’re mine forever”. Control what you’re saying and let the guy decides if he still deserves you or not. Remember that men also have their way of figuring out if renewing a relationship is their worth.
• Stop talking bad things about him in front of common friends. Stop back biting about your boyfriend in front of people he also hangs around. When you back bite a person, be it your boyfriend or best friend, you’re simply coming out as too desperate. Also, you’ll have the tendency to ruin your mutual companionship.
• Prove to your guy that you’re a changed person. Most men are turned on by women who know how to change themselves for the better. Whatever it is in you that needs to be changed, do it with confidence.

The best way on how to get your ex boyfriend back is by respecting how he feels. Men, especially their feelings, also deserve to be respected. When you’re going to win back your boyfriend, don’t forget that there are thes

How to Get Over a Heartbreak

A relationship ends and it’s almost like losing a part of your body, or even more like the death of someone close to you. The thing is you know that it’s over on a mental level but your heart refuses to accept it. Emotionally, you’re still very invested in someone that just isn’t there any longer and will most likely never be again. Heartbreak hurts a lot and it’s important to find successful ways to deal with the situation. Following are some of these methods:

Talk to a good friend: Nearly everyone has at least one good friend that they trust enough to pour their heart out to. Go to that good friend and do some shoulder crying while you try to make sense of it all.

Exercise: Believe it or not, activity can make you feel better. Going for a long walk or a run can help you clear your head a bit and get your blood moving again. Calmer exercises such as yoga may also help you come back to yourself.

Call your gay best friend: There’s no one in the world that can make you feel better about yourself than your gay best friend. Call him immediately and take him out. He’ll tell you just how crazy your ex was to let someone like you go and he’ll do all of those comfy things with you like eating a quart of your favorite ice cream while watching a chick flick.

Focus slightly on negative things: One sure fire way to get over a guy that has broken your heart is to remember all of the negative things about him. Somehow it makes things better when you remember how bad his morning breath was or all the gas he had after eating too many bowls of chili. These can start to take away some of your pain.

Focus on what you did right: Don’t think about this as wasted time. There are things that you’ll take away from this relationship that will make you a smarter person in your next relationship. So never think it was a waste of time.

Give yourself enough time to heal: Don’t fight your grief and pain over the situation. If you’re ever going to heal, you need to go through the pain and get to the other side of it. Never try to jump into another relationship immediately. That’s not the way to get over your heartbreak. It’s only a distraction. Once you take the steps to heal, you will and, given enough time, you’ll move on.

When you follow some of these suggestions, you’ll find that your heart can heal and will be better prepared for your next relationship. No one is perfect and it’s not possible to have perfect relationships. However, there will be someone for you that will be better the next time around. The difference will be that when it happens again, you’ll be ready and know if this is the man to give you that happily ever after relationship.

How to NOT Get Your Ex Back

When a break up happens, there are plenty of avenues to travel down in trying to get him back. You’ve probably heard all about them. However, you need to know that there are some very definite things that you should NOT do if you hope to ever have a chance of reconciling with him. If you choose to ignore these tried and true tips, you probably won’t get your ex back and may as well move on in your life.

The first thing you should do is let your ex believe that you’ve accepted his decision. Let him believe that you, too, feel that parting is probably the best thing to do and let him go. This is a very important first step. Don’t beg or plead for him to stay. You can do your screaming, cursing and crying after he’s safely out of ear short. At first, though, let him believe that you agree with him.

Don’t keep trying to communicate with him, and don’t let him communicate with you. Sometimes that makes it easier for him to stay broken up with you because he knows that you’ll still be there for him if he needs you. That’s something that you should take care of instantly, even if you must tell him out right that you won’t be staying in touch with him. If you’re not in contact, then he’s going to have a better chance of missing you.

Don’t stay in and hibernate. Give yourself a few days to mourn the demise of the relationship and then start getting out again. Call the friend you trust the most and make a date to go out. Even if you don’t feel in the best of moods yet, go anyway. Make yourself at least try to have some fun. Word will get around that you’re out and about, which is just what you want to happen.

Don’t let yourself go. In fact, if you’ve been thinking about all of the improvements that you can make to yourself, now is the perfect time to do so. Start eating healthier, work out more and get a new hair style. When you go out to try to have some fun, you’ll also look great and word of the brand new you will filter its way back to your ex.

Don’t say no to dating. Obviously, you don’t want to mislead anyone, but maybe you’ve got a guy friend or two that will want to spend some time with you. Both of you pay for each other so that it’s not a real date but your ex won’t know that when word of seeing you out and about with a good looking guy gets back to him.

If you can refrain from doing all of these things, you stand a much better chance of getting back together with your ex. These are all things that are pretty much guaranteed to at least get his interest up again. Soon enough, he’ll be at your door again.

Get Your Ex Back by Playing with His Mind

Playing with your ex’s mind should, obviously, be a matter handled with great care. You want to win him back, but at the same time, you don’t want to make him crazy while doing it. That’s not going to help anyone. Therefore, you should try using these psychological triggers that are geared to make him want you back very quickly. The following are 3 of those triggers that may just work like magic when it comes to getting your ex back:

Be accepting of the Break Up: This means that you stop talking and begging for him not to leave. Don’t call him, message him, or email him. That’s simply not going to work. If you’ve been doing that, stop it now. It’s not too late to reverse the damage done. Instead, tell your ex that you understand and respect his decision to break up. Say that he’s right and it’s for the best. Then stop talking.

Cease All Communication: When you’re trying to get your ex back, silence is definitely golden. One of the most effective ways to get his attention is by not contacting him at all. Remember that a break up isn’t final. It’s usually a serious warning sign that your relationship is in some bad trouble and needs to change instantly if it’s going to work. Your ex is going to love the attention you give him after a break up even if he says he doesn’t. Don’t make this time easy on him. End all communication immediately. If he calls you or messages you, ignore it. Don’t reply or speak to him. This will make him miss you more.

Make Yourself Irresistible: This is the best way to make your ex have second thoughts about the break up. While he’s thinking that you’re ok with breaking up and all communication ended, it’s time to make some changes to yourself. Don’t show how hurt you really are. Smile, be confident and be positive. This will show your ex just what he has given up. If you needed to lose a few pounds, work on making your body super-hot. Change your hair style or color. Basically, turn into someone that he’ll want back and will never want to lose again. Once word gets back to him of your carefree and fun lifestyle, his head will start spinning. He will start questioning whether or not he can get you back. He’s going to start worrying about whether you’ve met someone else already. This is a great way to have him thinking only of you and getting you back.

Once you get your ex back through these magical psychological tricks; that’s not where it ends. You must now work on putting the magic back into your relationship and keeping it there. When you get him back, you’re going to want to work hard in keeping the relationship together.

Something else to consider is that if you continue to break up over and over again, maybe your relationship isn’t really meant to be, after all.

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