Reasons That Men Drop Women

Everything was going so well in your relationship. The two of you were getting along so great, or at least you thought you were. Then, suddenly, he tells you that he needs to talk to you. Later, you look back on this and realize that you were so clueless that you never even felt that little flutter of fear that should have been there. The phrase, “We need to talk” is NEVER a good one, and this time was no exception. Once he’s packed and left, look over these reasons that men drop women and see if you can make sense of it all:

Too clingy: This one is always a deal breaker. Men hate it when women cling to them and make them feel smothered. A man isn’t responsible for your happiness and you need to understand that from the beginning.

Too independent: Yes, men don’t like women that are too independent any more than they like clingy ones. You must find the delicate balance between the two for it all to work out. Men like to feel needed and they love it when you need them to open jars for them, or fix a leaky pipe. But don’t tell them that they can’t go out with their friends because you’ll be lonely without him.

You don’t listen: If you’ve started a conversation with him, you must let him participate. Let him answer or comment on the subject at hand, and for goodness sakes, stop interrupting him! If you keep on doing that, he’ll stop talking to you altogether and find someone ELSE that’s interested in listening to what he has to say.

You never have any positive to say: Of course, it’s fine to share some disappointments and problems you may have in your life from time to time, but you don’t have to constantly keep being so negative about everything.

You never let the past go: Yes, guys mess up. In fact, they’re known for it. But if you’ve decided to forgive a particular transgression on his part, let it go. Don’t keep bringing it up every time you have an argument or he’ll bury it himself.

You’re like a prison warden: A relationship should never be like a prison. He doesn’t have to account to you for his whereabouts 24/7. Do you seriously want to know about every time he visited the little boys’ room and what he did in there in detail? If he can’t have a life of his own with you, he’ll be finding it with someone that doesn’t stand at the door with a stop watch every time you come and go.

Stop bringing up his past relationships: Do you honestly want to remind him of the former super model he used to date? You know that the only reason you keep talking about his ex-girlfriends is so that he’ll say how perfect you are compared to them.

If you find that you fit into any or all of the things on this list, you’ll probably understand why he left. Change where you need it and don’t repeat those mistakes again.

Is Worry Ruining Your Relationship?

Everyone knows that there are some people that are just born to worry. These people worry about anything and everything. Some of their worries are legitimate but, for the most part, they worry about things that it really makes no sense to worry about. To begin with, worry never made anything better. Worry doesn’t solve problems and it saps your energy without making things any different.

When you’ve been mistreated in a relationship, or you’ve had several of them just go wrong for whatever reason, you may have turned into a worrier. You start to worry about whether or not this new or current relationship is going to last. You may also worry about whether or not you’re attractive enough for your partner. There are so many different things that you can worry about within a relationship that you simply don’t know which ones are valid reasons to actually worry.

Something that many people worry about is introducing a new partner to their best friend. There is no shortage of horror stories that depict the best friend swooping in and stealing away the new partner. It’s little wonder that this is one of the top things that people tend to worry about. However, even if you do have “one of those friends” that you’re never sure you can trust, there’s nothing to be gained in becoming paranoid. The best way to handle that situation is to get rid of any friends that you cannot trust. They’re not really your friends anyway.

Do you worry that your partner is out telling some very personal things about you? This has been known to happen on more than one occasion. However, if you can’t trust your partner enough to keep appropriately private things between the two of you, it may be time to stop sharing those sorts of things. That’s rather sad, though, because it means that there are trust issues in your relationships when you can’t confide in your partner without it becoming public knowledge.

The question really should be whether or not you’re finding yourself worrying constantly about everything that MIGHT go wrong in your relationship. You may also be worrying about whatever else may be going wrong in your life, no matter what area it is. If you do find yourself doing that, you may also find that all of this worrying is making you a depressing person to be around. It’s like you suck the energy out of every room you walk into when you carry around all of this worry with you. Not only will you have trouble with getting a successful relationship, but you’ll find that most people will avoid being around you.

It’s very easy to let worry ruin your relationship, especially if you don’t know you’re doing it. Be brutally honest with yourself and see if you’re one of those worriers. If you are, there’s every chance that you’re putting your relationship in jeopardy. Move forward quickly to take steps that will help you to not worry so much. Try talking things over with your partner so they know you’re not doing this on purpose. Maybe he or she can help you calm down.

Dealing with Jealousy in your Relationship

The Green Eyed Monster is bound to rear its ugly head at some point in time during most relationships. Whether there’s an actual reason for it or not, it does happen from time to time. In some relationships, jealousy is present too much of the time and makes for a stressful connection between the partners in these relationships. The question surrounding jealousy is more about how to deal with it than anything else.

The first way in dealing with jealousy in your relationship is to try to get to the root cause of it. Why is there distrust that can cause jealousy? Typically, it’s because the partner with the jealousy problem has been mistreated in a relationship in the past. This is usually because an ex has cheated on this partner and fidelity is something that he or she no longer takes for granted in a relationship. Oddly enough, it can also come from the partner that cheated. The belief here is that if he or she is capable of cheating, then their partner could also be capable of it. Anytime there are trust issues of any kind in a relationship, there’s a huge probability that there will be jealousy within that relationship.

Insecurity is also another major root cause for a partner to be jealous. This insecurity can come from an assortment of past issues. Sometimes a person may pass through an “ugly duckling” phase before blossoming into their present day swan. Many times these people can’t move past the fact that they were once grossly overweight or had acne that covered their face. Even though they may now sport clear skin and a killer body, they look in the mirror and still see that fat, pizza faced person that others used to make fun of.

Insecurity can come from other reasons, too. Nearly everyone starts out with the innocence of believing everything they’re told. This is particularly true in a relationship. Until you learn that people can and do lie, it’s easy to live in a cloud of happiness. Then one day, you catch your partner cheating on you, or you find out that he or she has been lying to you all along. That’s the beginning of the undoing of most people. They’ve learned that they trusted when they shouldn’t have. That can bring about a permanent insecurity that will be the cause of jealousy in all future relationships.

Once you learn the root cause of your jealousy, then you can begin to go about finding a way to deal with it. For example, if you’ve been cheated on in the past, look at your suspicious nature in your present relationship. Unless your partner has given you any reason to feel that he or she has been unfaithful to you, there’s no real reason to get upset if you see them noticing an attractive individual. On the other hand, if your partner is openly staring and gawking while out with you, there’s every reason for anger, rather than jealousy.

If you find that you simply cannot move past jealous feelings even though you have no reason for it, you may want to get some counseling to help you deal with these feelings.

Things that Turn Men Off

You thought everything was going so swimmingly! This great guy and you really seemed to be hitting it off. There were amazing dates and romantic weekend getaways. Everything was just so perfect from your point of view. Then, suddenly, he’s too busy to see you, rarely calls you, and finally tells you that he feels things just aren’t working out. You never saw this coming! What HAPPENED? Have a look at the following things that just may have turned off your Prince Charming:

Don’t talk negatively about yourself: Men find needy and desperate women to be a turn off. Single, successful and attractive men are usually hard to find and they have a bit of experience with women by the time you find them. They don’t want a woman that needs a man to complete her. They want someone that is her own woman and wants a man to SHARE his life, not BE her life. Anything you’re not happy with about yourself, change it on your own.

Don’t base a relationship on what MIGHT be: Many women make the assumption that once they land a man that’s mostly great, that they can change whatever they DON’T like about the man later. That’s not going to happen. If you start trying to change a man, expect him to walk away fast.

Don’t depend on him to be everything for you: Men don’t really enjoy all of that responsibility. You need to know what makes you happy and how to fulfill your own life. You’ll just scare away a promising relationship by making him feel you can’t exist without him.

Don’t be destroyed if your expectations aren’t met: Keep in mind that relationships take time to fully grow into their own. Everything isn’t going to be perfect from the very beginning. It’s fine to have some expectations for the relationship that you want, but don’t put too much pressure on either of you.

Let Mother Nature take her course: If you start forcing feelings and emotions on him too soon, he’s going to run the other way. Let everything grow and develop as it is meant to do.

Never assume that your intuition is foolproof: Just because your 6th sense is telling you something about your man doesn’t always mean you’re right. So never assume that you know exactly what he wants and needs. That can cause you all sorts of problems.

Don’t come on too strong: If you start trying to push him headfirst into areas that he’s not ready for, expect to be single pretty quickly. Don’t tell him everything about yourself immediately. Keeping a little mystery around you is good. If you start making him look at diamonds too fast, he’ll make a run for it.

Be yourself: Remember that if you start off pretending to be someone you’re not, you’ll have to keep on being that person if you want to keep this man. You landed him by being someone other than yourself. That’s the only way to keep him so you’ll see what a mistake you made initially.

If you find yourself doing any of these things, expect to have all sorts of problems landing and keeping a man.

How Time Apart Improves Your Relationship

Many couples don’t like to be apart—EVER. They’re together so much that it’s almost like they’re joined at the hip. Everyone has heard the saying “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” It may sound a bit corny, but the truth is, there’s a lot to this saying. There are several reasons for this and you may want to consider giving each other a bit of space now and then.

For one thing, there’s a definite chance that sex together will improve. Being apart for even just a little while can work wonders for your sexual connection. You don’t have to be apart for days or weeks at a time for this to work. It can be something as simple as several hours or even a night apart. But you’ll see the difference when you’re back together again. You have to be apart to miss each other.

Everyone has hobbies or things they’re passionate about, and they need to spend time with these things. A serious relationship can take you away from doing those things because you simply don’t have time for them since you have a partner and a relationship to maintain. Getting back to some of those things that you really used to love doing can make you more interested in your relationship. Once you try out this theory, you’ll find out how much more enthusiastic you are about everything in your life, including your relationship.

You need to honor your independence. When you’re in a relationship, particularly if you’re living together, it may bring back memories of when you were on your own and never had to answer to anyone. Sometimes, it can get claustrophobic when you don’t feel you have the right to just go do something you want without getting approval first. When you start feeling that way, talk it over with your partner so that you can make your own decisions about certain things in the future without any problems. Also, think about all the times when you were single that you wished you weren’t.

One of the first things to go when you get in a serious relationship is close friendships. When you’re all wrapped up in a romantic relationship, friends tend to become less important. Don’t let your relationship take over your entire life. You need to spend some time with other people that love you and stimulate you. When you do this, it makes you a more interesting person within your relationship.

When you take time to do some of these things, yes, you’ll be away from your partner. However, that also makes you a more well-rounded person as well as an individual that your love will find even more exciting when you’re back together. Things can become too routine in a relationship when you spend all of your time together. Allow yourself to grow and your relationship can’t help but grow, too. Once you try it, you’ll see what a difference it makes to also have your own life.

Stages of Marriage & Relationships

Relationships don’t just pop up out of nowhere. They’re begun, fed and maintained. The stages of a relationship are the attraction stage, followed by the adaptation stage, then the courtship stage, conflict stage and finally, the responsibility stage. Each of the stages offers a necessary aspect to every couple’s connection to each other. These stages shape the views of the couples regarding interpersonal relations and they decide how well the couple can handle their bond.

Couples must complete each stage in order for it to be an authentic relationship. You can’t go skipping cycles or it’s not a true relationship. Now, some couples may pass through the stages instantly, or they may linger on certain stages for a long time. It takes a different timetable for each couple to learn what they need to from each stage. They can also move to and from stages but never quite get them right. Sadly, these stages are forever sabotaged. In fact, a connection can happen with one stage with the couple deciding that there’s no reason to move to the rest of them. However, that gives them a bit of a stalled relationship and one that never fully develops.

All of the stages are important when it comes to enhancing the bond of the couple. They decide how long the connection will last as well as how strong it is. In addition, each of the stages brings useful things to the relationship. They shape the emotions of the couples as well as determine how mature it will be. All aspects of the couple’s different personalities are uncovered through these stages. The process also molds the coping mechanisms of a couple at some point. These are the stages that continuously show couples that relationships are both pleasant as well as troublesome. Each stage can offer joy and pain while still allowing the couple to get something from a unique experience. Of course, it can be incredibly rewarding following the makeup from an argument.

Every couple must pass successfully through each of the relationship stages before making a lifetime commitment to each other. If they want a chance at a successful marriage, they must make sure they’ve gone through each stage and learned everything they can from it. Every stage is a period of soul-searching that offers the couple a chance to think about whether the relationship is worth having or not. Each stage can be significantly designed so that couples will know the consequences of their reactions to things in that stage. They also grant the couples a deeper awareness of strengths and weaknesses. Decision making abilities are also challenged. These stages show whether or not the responses of each partner are acceptable to the other.

Think of the relationship stages as a road map that couples can use while traveling to a more intimate and passionate connection. This “roadmap” functions in much the same way as tour guides in guiding couples to a lasting connection. They keep couples aware that they must invest a lot of time, effort and even money to make relationships successful.

Ways to get your ex back :Words or Actions?

You’ve probably heard the expression that “Actions speak louder than words.” While it may be a bit trite, there is a grain of truth to it. Communication is vital to the success of all relationships and these can be both verbal and physical. When this communication is honest and straight forward, it’s possible for actions and words to go hand in hand rather than things being an “either or” situation. Words that are spoken can easily be followed by action.

In many relationships, men have trouble expressing their feelings for their partners in a verbal way. Yet, these same men bring their wives and girlfriends flowers for no reason, serve them breakfast in bed, pick up the most recent bestseller by their favorite writers or singers, and take them out to their favorite restaurants for dinner. Now, these men may not say I love you often, but their actions leave no doubt of their feelings. This is the perfect example of actions speaking louder than words.

There can also be subtle ways where actions and words don’t exactly match. This is usually to avoid confrontations or other conflicts. It can also be to keep from hurting someone’s feelings. For example, your partner cooks you a romantic dinner and serves it to you by candlelight. The meat is so tough you could play ball with it. The vegetables are undercooked and the wine is an awful vintage. You know that your partner has worked very hard on this meal and you don’t want to hurt his or her feelings. So you say how good it all tastes and as you’re speaking, you’re trying not to choke. This is an example of using words and actions in opposition of each other.

Everyone wants to hear the words I love you from time to time. But, in the end, if someone is showing you how they feel, that can be much more important overall. Consider all the couples that say I love you constantly. The other thing they do constantly is fight with each other and talk about each other negatively behind their backs. Now, while they DO SAY the words, they certainly don’t act as if they mean them.

A big question, then, becomes where you would rather have the words spoken to you while having actions directed at you that are far less than loving, or if you want the actions and don’t care about the words. Only you can decide what you need the most and what matters more to you. Of course, it’s always much better when you can have the right amount of both and many couples pull that off. However, if you can’t manage that, remember that if the words and actions don’t match, then it is the actions that mean the most. A lot of promises are made through words but unless these are backed up by actions, the words become nothing more than empty promises.

Communication works best in relationships if each partner is careful to make their words and actions match. Something else you get from this is increased self-esteem and a sincere emotional connection. It’s worth the effort.

Loving Someone You Can Never Have

There’s nothing quite as painful as unrequited love. Just ask anyone that’s ever been in love with someone they knew they could never have. This is a situation that can happen to both men and women, and there’s no less pain involved for one than the other. If you’re in this situation, you’ll find that you recognize all of the symptoms.

The person that’s captured your heart is all you seem to think about on a daily basis. You’re not even really interested in dating anyone else because, as far as you’re concerned, you’ve found the one you love and that’s not going to change. You may have even settled down into a rather complacent state where your pain is kept to a numb state. This means that you’re not sitting around crying or moping but you do daydream about this person all the time and fantasize about how, one day, the two of you will be together. Most likely, you have all sorts of scenarios worked out where he or she suddenly realizes that you’re the one. It’s all probably very romantic with symphonic music swelling in the background.

You may feel that it is fine for you to live in this dream world but it’s actually not fine at all. In fact, you must do everything you can to let go of this fantasy and get on with having a real life. It is time to get this situation under control so that you can find someone that’s meant to be with you. This is the only way you will experience true happiness.

First of all, stop thinking about this person. Simply refuse to let him or her enter your thoughts. When you find yourself slipping and thinking of this person, FORCE yourself to think of something else. Don’t allow yourself to dwell on the fantasy. This is the first step in accepting that you will never be with this person for whatever reason. He or she may be in a committed relationship with someone else or even married. The fantasy person may even be someone that you knew years ago and never moved past. Get a grip and come back to reality.

If you can clear your environment of everything that reminds you of your dream lover, that will help even more. Don’t listen to music that carries you in the direction of more day dreams and fantasies. This is going to require a lot of self-discipline. If you feel that you’re not strong enough to handle it on your own, enlist the aid of a good friend to keep you grounded. It is almost like having an AA or NA sponsor. You call this person whenever you‘re having a weak moment and they talk you through it.

Do your best to be realistic. Seriously, if you’ve been carrying a torch for this person for, say 10 years, it’s TIME to take back control of your life and face the fact that you’re just never going to have this person. Let go and allow your heart to be free to love the right person for you.

Openness The Key To Healing Relationships

Do you know the importance of openness in a relationship ? Openness are often the foundation of great relationship.

So many times people will find themselves in a relationship that used to be good, loving, and strong. But somehow, somewhere, things changed. Now they want to get that loving relationship back. The first thing is making sure there is an openness to healing relationships.

Most relationships that have broken down have done so over a period of time and usually because of hurts, many of which have been small. These hurts have accumulated over a period of time, though, and now they’ve taken on a life of their own. Over time we tend to shut ourselves off from our partner because we don’t want to be hurt anymore. Once that happens you will need to make sure you can open up again and attempt to heal the relationship. Before you decide that you are going to fix your broken relationship you have to make sure that you are willing to open yourself up to the possibility of more hurt.

And, it’s not just about you either. Is your partner willing to open up and work on the relationship? Many times one partner is more interested in salvaging the relationship than another. If that’s the case and your partner has made it clear, either by what they’ve said or their overall attitude, that they have no interest in working very hard to save the relationship, you might as well call it quits. You can’t do it all yourself and you can’t force your partner to try.

If, on the other hand, you both agree that you will try to work on the relationship the first thing you’ll both need to do is look at yourselves. You need to look at yourself and your partner needs to look at themselves. You are trying to honestly figure out what part you’ve played in the breakdown of the relationship and whether or not you will be committed to making the changes necessary to fix it. Again, both of you have to admit their part in the break down of the relationship as well as be willing to try to change their behavior.

After all that the next thing you will both need to do is talk to each other. This doesn’t mean yelling, intimidating, or getting mad. It means and open, adult discussion about how you are feeling. You each have to be able to honestly speak your mind and explain what you think has happened, how you think it can be fixed, what you are willing to do to help fix it, and how you are feeling overall.

This step is vitally important and potentially very dangerous. This is the part where someone could get hurt feelings and that could lead to a big blowout. In order for this to work, it’s crucial that you both give the other person time to talk, and not get mad or defensive about what they have to say.

If you are sure you and your partner really have an openness to healing relationships, and you’re wiling to work on the steps I’ve listed here than the two of you will have a real shot at getting back to a place in your relationship where you can be happy to be together, and happy to be ‘back to normal’.

Is The Break Up Tearing You Up

When your loved one starts to think of moving on, break up focused conversations can be difficult to have. If your boyfriend or girlfriend approaches you with talk about a breakup, it may be difficult for you to hear what he or she has to say to you. Still, when your current significant other approaches you with a conversation about moving on, break up talk is going to have to happen.

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This is actually a primary time for you to figure out what is going wrong in the relationship so that you can rectify the situation now rather than struggling to fix things in the future. It is common not to know how to handle moving on, break up decisions are often hard to swallow when you do not see them coming. Even if your boyfriend or girlfriend approaches you with the idea of moving on, break up is not necessarily inevitable, because there are healthy things that you can do in order to rectify the situation.

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Most breakups can be avoided simply by figuring out what has led to the dissension in the relationship and nipping those problems in the bud before you chase your significant other away completely. If you want to keep your significant other from leaving the relationship and eventually moving on, break up centric conversations are going to need to happen so that the issues in the relationship can be fully explored. By exploring these issues and figuring out what went wrong, or what is going wrong at present, then you will have a much easier time of keeping your significant other from moving on, break up averted.

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When it comes to preventing him or her from moving on, break up conversations should include the following:

- You should specifically ask why your significant other is unhappy in the relationship.

- You should specifically ask if there is anything that you can do to rectify the situation.

- You should retain all of the information that your significant other gives you so that you can make positive changes in the relationship according.

Once you have a strong basis for what is going wrong in the relationship, the next step is to make the necessary positive changes in order to keep your ex from moving on. If there is a communication breakdown, obviously you need to communicate more effectively.

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If your significant other is unhappy with something else, find a solution and begin to implement it however necessary to keep your significant other from finding a reason to leave you. It may seem like a lot of work at the outset, but it will be well worth the effort if it means preventing your significant other from breaking up with you and moving on, break up averted.

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