Is The Break Up Tearing You Up

When your loved one starts to think of moving on, break up focused conversations can be difficult to have. If your boyfriend or girlfriend approaches you with talk about a breakup, it may be difficult for you to hear what he or she has to say to you. Still, when your current significant other approaches you with a conversation about moving on, break up talk is going to have to happen.

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This is actually a primary time for you to figure out what is going wrong in the relationship so that you can rectify the situation now rather than struggling to fix things in the future. It is common not to know how to handle moving on, break up decisions are often hard to swallow when you do not see them coming. Even if your boyfriend or girlfriend approaches you with the idea of moving on, break up is not necessarily inevitable, because there are healthy things that you can do in order to rectify the situation.

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Most breakups can be avoided simply by figuring out what has led to the dissension in the relationship and nipping those problems in the bud before you chase your significant other away completely. If you want to keep your significant other from leaving the relationship and eventually moving on, break up centric conversations are going to need to happen so that the issues in the relationship can be fully explored. By exploring these issues and figuring out what went wrong, or what is going wrong at present, then you will have a much easier time of keeping your significant other from moving on, break up averted.

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When it comes to preventing him or her from moving on, break up conversations should include the following:

- You should specifically ask why your significant other is unhappy in the relationship.

- You should specifically ask if there is anything that you can do to rectify the situation.

- You should retain all of the information that your significant other gives you so that you can make positive changes in the relationship according.

Once you have a strong basis for what is going wrong in the relationship, the next step is to make the necessary positive changes in order to keep your ex from moving on. If there is a communication breakdown, obviously you need to communicate more effectively.

When a break up happens what is best thing to say to a boy to get him back

If your significant other is unhappy with something else, find a solution and begin to implement it however necessary to keep your significant other from finding a reason to leave you. It may seem like a lot of work at the outset, but it will be well worth the effort if it means preventing your significant other from breaking up with you and moving on, break up averted.

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Ready for true love?

Are you ready for true love? It already sounds cliché, like a broken record, that happiness is something you can only give yourself and no one else will. That not until you learn being happy on your own, you cannot be happy in a relationship.

True enough. I just can’t establish the logic that will finally convince me of this cliché, but somewhere, it really is true enough to determine if I was ready for true love.

There are so many people out there who depend their happiness on 1 person, and too bad, I was one of those desperate souls. I wasn’t ready for true love. I was in love with love, and not with the person himself. That love should be this, love should be that, that if he really loved me, it should have been this way and not this, failing to see that I was already controlling him. So when he got fed up, he just left, without any remorse, and there was no amount of my apology or remorse that could bring him back. He was happier to leave. It was so sad that it relieved him so much to leave because inevitably, I suffocated him, and failed to realize that I was pressuring him already.

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This was one thing I overlooked to find out if I was ready for true love. I never learned to be happy on my own before entering a serious relationship. True enough they were right; I was not able to maximize my chances of being happy in the relationship because I didn’t know how to be happy alone. This was why I was so clingy and needy that suffocated the guy I was with.

So, how do we really practice being happy alone? How do we become ready for true love?

I should have been grateful for the time out of a relationship bond to give myself time to really discover myself and to really identify what I want. I wanted to become that person that people wanted to be with, I thought I already was, but as a partner I wasn’t that person. As a partner, I was the clingy and needy person that everybody wanted to leave. I was the overly dominant person who demanded my orders to be fulfilled this instant. Of course, that led to a disastrous relationship, and an even worse breakup. I should have looked for my other flaws and do something to correct them on my own.

Most importantly for me to become really ready for the true love waiting for me, I should have waited. Use my time to learn and become the best version of myself, and be happy with it.

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My Top 4 Relationship BS’s

What you see in the movies don’t happen in real life. Take a good look at these top 4 and find out why:

1. Love is blind.

Being hopelessly romantic is ok, but being stupid is different. Yes it happens that you fall in love with someone who’s totally not your type, but soon enough, it will haunt you. Yes it does happen in real life, but they made it through because they were too much in love with each other that parting would never be an option. Are you sure that it’s the same with you? Are you sure you can withstand the mockery and ridicule that your kids are bound to suffer if they got the bad genes? It’s great if what lacked in looks are compensated with a great inner quality, but believe me, looks will always be important and in this unfair world we live in, we could never deny that.

2. Love at first sight.

Probably in this century, it’s only a total loser who will give you that pickup line. Attraction might be it, but never love. It’s not only a personal take that I have. But logically, and after so many failed relationships, this isn’t so true after all. Love (and the decision to love) takes time to really make it work. Never confuse attraction with love, because with attraction, it fades. True love (which is tried and tested by time) never does.

3. Love conquers all.

Dude, if this was really true, we won’t have such a high incidence of divorce in the US. Really. And we won’t have to suffer the brunt of breakups if this was really true. The real reason why couples break up is because of the true and factual notion that if it doesn’t work, it simply doesn’t work anymore. Even if 2 people still love each other, there is still the inevitable and inescapable event of a breakup. Why? It’s because we no longer live in the 15^th century. Times have evolved and so does our thinking. You’re lucky if you meet someone willing to do everything for love, but most of the time, it’s just insanity and obsession, and not love anymore.

4. Love doesn’t cost a thing.

Then why do we have high-profile divorces turning out very nasty? Because of money and property issues. They can’t decide who takes the yacht and who takes the mansion and the money. We need to eat and to survive these hard times. If a husband or father cannot support his wife and children, then that’s a bigger problem eventually leading to separation. If a boyfriend is too broke to take you out (or even feed himself that he has to depend it on you), it means to say that he’s too damn lazy to find himself work and income.

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Do You Have Faith In Your Partner?

Faith is one of the biggest assets when it comes to getting your ex back or maintaining your  relationship. Most of us have faith in God. That means that we always believe that god will help us whenever we call on him. That God will be always support us. That god loves us and wants us to grow. God will never leave us alone. This faith is the greatest strengths of many of us. What about your partner? Do you have this kind of faith in him/her?

Many will answer that I have that faith in my partner. That is good. At least they have that faith. Many of you will not be sure about the answer and quite many know that they cannot have faith in their partner. Does your partner have faith in you? Why don’t you ask this question and find out the answer? Please ask him/her – Darling, suppose I have someone else in my life for a short time and then come to you and confess will our relations remain the same? Will you forgive me and forget what I did and accept me? Will we be together as we are today? The answer may differ from person to person, but you will rarely find a partner who accepts this.

As you broke his/her faith, how can you expect that their faith will remain intact? That you can expect them to support you after you betray them? That sounds difficult. Faith does not work that simply. Faith works on commitment. If you are committed to your partner and if your partner is a reliable person of integrity, you may have faith in him/her to a certain extent. To say that my partner will always be with me under all circumstances is difficult to say. Only few are lucky to have such partners.

What should we do? Draw an agreement verbally. Commit yourself fully and ask your partner to have faith in you always. Ask him/her to commit that you can have the same faith in them. Give proofs from time to time and you will win unshakeable faith of your partner. Once you have that faith, you will feel a great sense of relief because you are sure that your partner will never leave you.

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How To Stop The Fighting In Your Relationships

For some couples fighting is the fire that keeps their relationships alive. It lets them know the other cares. Many are determined to win a battle that never ends. Others try to right the wrongs they have experienced in the past with someone new. Unfortunately, this kind of behavior is doomed to failure. When we bring baggage from a former relationship into the present, all new relationships simply become a continuation of the past.

What People Get Out of Fighting

It is important to understand why couples keep fighting. For some fighting is a fire that keeps their relationships alive. It lets them know the other cares, things aren’t really over, and sparks still fly between them. Fighting can keep these couples bonded, causing them to think about each other a great deal.

Some love power struggles. They love winning and feeling power over the other. This makes them feel strong.Fighting can easily become a habit, something individuals fall into automatically and instinctively. Needless to say, fighting prevents real communication from developing. It is a way of threatening or blaming the other. Rather than really addressing issues, it causes a situation to remain stuck.

Without a good fight, a relationship is over,” says Mary, a twenty six year old administrative assistant. “The lights have gone off between us. It’s a sign my partner no longer cares.”

Mary, who was recently divorced and is now in another choppy relationship feels that eventually she’ll marry a man with whom she can fight – and survive the storms. “ I respect a guy who I can fight with, who can take me as I am.”

For Mary being angry, fighting and winning has became her identity. Without it, she no longer knows who she truly is. She does not see price she is paying for this kind of relationship or what toll it takes on all concerned.

Unfortunately, the anger many individuals live with on a daily basis can become crystallized into their identity. Once this identity becomes habitual, the individuals soon have no idea who they would be without it. Needless to say, this blocks out much of the happiness, flexibility, communication and intimacy they desire.

“I’m not letting her walk all over me,” Roger would balk whenever his ex wife expressed her needs to him now, or brought up any issue. Rather than listening to what she had to say, he immediately took it as criticism. “She’s trying to tell me I’m inadequate,” he would declare. The war was on. What started as a conversation, turned into a power struggle. From Roger’s point of view, his very manhood was at stake.

However, as long as any of us hold onto our anger and continue fighting, there is no hope of working the problems through, or even truly understanding what is really going on. Roger could not pause and realize that his partner’s needs and feelings had nothing to do with him. He was determined to take whatever she said or did personally and keep feeling badly about himself. These are many consequences when we cling to anger and allow it to turn into our sense of who we are.

Beyond that, it’s impossible not to receive the fruits of what you have put forth. “As you sow, so shall you reap,” is an immutable law of living. Although we may justify all kinds of behavior it is absolutely inevitable that we will experience the consequences of our thoughts, actions and deeds. Depression arises, hopelessness and the inability to love again.

There are many steps involved in letting go of anger. The very first step is to realize that anger is a toxin. It is not a source of strength or power, but can become an addiction, a substitute for true power and wisdom, something that hinders our well being and stops our life from going forward.

There are definite steps we can take to undo anger. And in order to begin a new chapter and to build a positive relationship both with ourselves and others, it is necessary to begin this process.
Here are a few steps one can take to begin. They are taken from The Anger Diet which offers one step a day for thirty days. These following guidelines are simple, but powerful. Why not try them today and see.

Putting An End To The War

1)Stop Blaming – It is absolutely pointless for you to blame yourself or the other. Blame stops you from seeing the truth. While we are engaged in pointing a finger, and making the other feel guilty, we cannot see what is really going on. Blame is a way to keep the fight alive. TAKE A VACATION FROM BLAME FOR ONE DAY.  Instead of thinking of all the ways the person has hurt you keep your eyes open to watch how you may be stoking the fires. Focus upon what the person has done for you, instead, the ways in which they have been kind.

2)Realize The Price You Are Paying For These Fights Unless we truly realize the terribly toll fighting is taking on us, we will continue it automatically.  Honestly take note of the consequences each fight brings, what it is doing to your body, mind and spirit. Then ask do I truly want this?  Haven’t I suffered enough? Why not stop it today?

3) Know There Is A Better Way – You have to become aware that there is a better way to be in a relationship. This is the time to expand your view. Define success as being happy rather than being right. Learn other tools and techniques which will de-escalate anger and make a positive relationship possible for you.

4)Build A Strong Sense of Self-Worth

The basis of all good relationships is a feeling of worthiness, a desire to honor, gift and pleasure yourself, and to do the same for the other.        Choose this kind of relationship and let go of all that opposes it.

As we have the courage to let go of anger, not only does our health improve, but soon we notice many kinds of wonderful, new people and experiences entering our lives. We attract what we focus upon. When we focus upon well-being, forgiveness and love, that is what will fill our lives.

What Makes A Bad Relationship?

Are you in a relationship right now?  If you are, is it going smoothly or is it going through very rough times? Not all relationships are alike; there are always these good relationships and bad relationships. How you and your partner will handle the relationship will determine if it is a bad relationship or if it is a good one and going on smoothly. If you are in a bad relationship right now, perhaps you will wonder how your romantic relationship has a sudden twist. You might have asked yourself what you have done wrong or what your shortcomings were. Here are some things that you can think about why you have a bad relationship:

Lack of Communication

Communication is an important part of every relationship. Lack of communication can make a romantic relationship turn into a bad relationship because this keeps both you and your partner from having a clear understanding of what is really going on and why a certain problem is happening.

Aside from this, it also creates more conflicts since you do not know what the other exactly wants and expects from the relationship. Keeping oneself in silence when a problem in the relationship arises will not do you any good but instead it will aggravate the problem. It is not a good idea that you do not open up about what you really feel or how your partner feels. If both of you continue to be in silence, expect your bad relationship to turn into worse.

Infidelity and Dishonesty

Infidelity and dishonesty are two words that are often associated with each other. If a person is unfaithful, he or she is dishonest in so many ways.

Lots of break-ups nowadays are due to infidelity. If you find out that your partner is unfaithful to you, of course this can lead to a serious fight and more heated arguments. For sure, your initial reaction will be so outraged that you will not be able to listen to reasons anymore. Upon knowing your partner’s infidelity, you will come to realize some of the dishonest answers that he or she gave you in the past when you ask about some important things.

Your once happy and romantic relationship will now turn into a bad relationship because there is one important element which is lacking and that is trust. You begin to become more suspicious and jealous so from then your arguments will be in circles which can eventually lead to breakup.

Pride

Pride is another main reason to have a bad relationship. Conflicts and petty fights are part of every relationship so you should not be devastated if you and your partner encounter and go through these from time to time. There is nothing wrong in having arguments because you are able to voice out your views and opinions about an issue.

However, having these become more of a problem when you let your pride take over instead of humbling down and realize your mistake. Pride will never do you good if you are in a relationship. You should always know how to ask for forgiveness if you made a mistake or give way if you think that what your partner says will be beneficial to you and to the relationship.

These are just some of the things that can make a bad relationship. If you think that one or all these is the reason why you are now in a bad relationship, perhaps you should start reassessing yourself and the whole situation in order to save it.

(Deutsch) Are You Lovable?

This looks like an awkward question. We will confess that he/she is not lovable? But the truth is that many of us are not lovable at all. Can you imagine of a small kid? A kid is always lovable. Why? If we can answer that question, we will solve the puzzle about whether we are lovable or not.

A kid is innocent. Knows nothing and is totally defenseless. You love a kid, because he/ she wants you to protect him/her. You love a kid because of innocence. You love the kid because of the smiling face. You love the kid because the kid has no malice towards anyone. Does not desire any thing bad for any one. Recognizes no enemies and has faith in everyone. The kid is totally free of all negative emotions. That is why we all love a kid.

How many of us are like that? How many of us keep a smile on our face forever? How many of us are free of negative emotions? Not many. Agreed that we are grown ups and can not be like a kid. But surely we can borrow some good qualities from the kid. How about forgiving everyone? How about not getting angry at all? How about having faith in everyone unless proven otherwise? How about loving everyone? How about becoming non judgmental?

Once we acquire some of these qualities, we will become lovable. Believe me that it is that simple. All of your friends and colleagues will begin liking you more. You will get love from unexpected quarters. You will get your dream darling in a little time, after you transform yourself.

(Deutsch) How To Make A Romantic Relationship Work

Falling in love and entering in a romantic relationship with the love of your life is a really nice experience. But just like in any endeavor, a romantic relationship also has its ups and downs.

There are times that you and your partner will experience problems and conflicts that will sure test the strength of your relationship. However, sometimes, if these conflicts seem to go on in circles, the last resort you have in mind is to end the relationship which should not be the case since there are lots of things that you can do to make your romantic relationship work.

First, you should never expect a perfect relationship because there is no such thing. There will always come a time that you and your partner will experience conflicts that will sure test the strength of your relationship. How you handle these problems will determine how intense your feelings you have for each other and how important your partner is to you. It is not a good idea to end the relationship just because you see first signs of troubles. There are always measures that you can do in order to surpass any test and make the romantic relationship work.

Second, you have to be honest and loyal at all times. If you want your partner to trust you, you should be honest in every way. This does not mean however that you are obliged to tell every detail of what you do during the day. This is just a matter of saying the truthful answers when your partner ask you some questions because making stories or telling lies will not do any good in the relationship. This will just arouse more suspicions and jealousy and thus, bigger conflicts will arise. Aside from this, both partners should be loyal to each other. A romantic relationship is a commitment and so it requires loyalty on both sides.

Third, you should always communicate with your partner because this is one of the keys to a successful romantic relationship. Often times, misunderstanding occurs in romantic relationships because couples are unable to communicate with one another. You should always find time to talk about some issues especially when it is about problems that try to test your relationship. By doing this, both of you will be able to figure out what is really happening to your relationship, why it is happening, and what you can do to resolve the problem. And when communicating, you should know when it’s time to listen and when it’s time to speak because if both want to speak at the same time, how can you possibly understand each other.

And lastly, you have to keep in mind that in order for a romantic relationship to work, both partners should exert an effort to make it work. When you entered in the relationship, you have compromised or committed yourself to someone so this means that you can’t always have your way. In a relationship, there should be give and take in every situation. This is important in order to avoid conflicts and misunderstandings.

All these measures can contribute a lot to the success of your romantic relationship. But aside from all these, both should also exert some effort to keep the romance alive by doing simple yet sweet things. This will sure help a lot to keep the relationship from being so monotonous.

(Deutsch) 5 Tips To Gain Respect From Her

If you want to make you respectable by your girlfriend, here are some helpful tips which may use.

1. First of all it is very important to have self respect. Treat yourself with respect. If she sees that you don’t have any respect for yourself she might consider that she doesn’t have to show you either, because it is not important to you at all.

2. What you give is what you take. Show respect if you want to be respectable. Everyone wants to be admired and appreciated. If you show your girlfriend that she is important to you, you’ll be easily in their good graces. Be attentive, give compliments, and make her feel comfortable with you and content. Simply admire the person you are with and listen carefully when she talks. So, she’ll love to spend time with you.

3. Relax. Women think men are mediocre because they have a boring personality. So, when you have a date with her relax and have fun so she will feel great with you, because if she finds you boring you may get dumped. If you make her feel good she will respect you for the funny guy you are, being the person who can make her smile even when she is very sad.

4. Don’t lie. We all now that women don’t like to be lied to. If she had caught you with a lie she will definitely not have any more respect for you. But, if she sees that you are sincere to her all the time, she will be proud of you and will show more and more respect for you.

5. Be confident and polite. Look into her eyes when she talks to you and make her feel that you are a person who can trust in. Show her that she can talk with you about any subject or problem she has and can count on your help. Don’t forget to be polite, this will bring a reciprocal respect.

When you are in a relationship you must be treated with respect, which means your girlfriend must act like this:

- lets you feel comfortable being yourself

- is able to admit when she is wrong

- is willing to compromise

- respects your opinions, feelings and friends

- tries to resolve conflicts by talking honesty

- accepts when you’re saying no at things you don’
t want to do

So, take a deep look at your relationship and watch out if your girlfriend is making all this things for you and if not you should try this tips to make her respect you.

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10 Common Lies Told by Women

Why are some relationships more honest than others? Why are some couples more truthful with each other while others like to deceive the partner? Nobody deserves to be lied, but there are no doubts that women are telling lies considerably and often. But so men do the same.

If you have trust issues in your relationship, in general, a woman may lie to you. Trust is something that you must build from the beginning of the relationship. Even though, a lot of people say ‘‘white lies” in order to make others feel better. Some women lie because, as caring creatures they want to spare the feelings of the man they are dating or seeing.

So, here are some common lies told by women that you should know. Someday you might hear them from your partner and it is better to know their real meaning.

1.You’re perfect. I love you just the way you are and I wouldn’t change a thing about you. Let’s be serious; nobody is perfect. At the beginning of a relationship all of them say this because they didn’t know you very well but after some time will definitely find something that needs changed. So, if she tells you something like this, don’t be too enthusiastic because she finds you perfect just for a couple of days, and after that she will ask you to change.

2.You’re right. Every time you are arguing with you’re girlfriend usually ends up by telling you that you are right? Maybe this makes you feel proud of you, but you have to know that this is a big lie. She said this just to make you shut up, even if she didn’t consider that you’re right. She knows that after a while you will see that she was right, and may be waiting for apologize.

3.Nothing is wrong. The most common lie ” I’m fine” when asked if there is something wrong is the most used by women. You see that she is upset, she is acting strange or doesn’t want to talk to you too much and ask her what is the problem she says that everything is fine. They don’t want to tell the real truth but they are expecting that men to figure out that something is wrong and those they had a mistake with something.

4.I do love sports honey. Maybe she agrees to stay and watch with you every week at a football game but this doesn’t really mean that she like it. She accepts to do this just to show you that she is different from other girls and you have common interest. You may be thinking that you have found the perfect girl for you, because not many of them would like to stay to watch football, but don’t be too happy because after a while she might had enough and get angry every time you sit down to watch a game.

5.I like spending time with your friends. At the beginning this is ok, but not too much. Even if they are good friends of you, she would like to spend more time alone with you and not with your friends. If she didn’t tell you already this, she will ask you to keep visits from your buddies at minimum and then she might keep pretending she loves them.

6.Your family is adorable, so I like spending time with your family. The truth? Maybe twice a month. Think about it. Do you really think that she likes to spend time with your family where everybody is criticizing her and watch her every move? She agrees to spend time with your family when is necessary but she doesn’t do it with much pleasure even if she is pretending in front of you that she likes them.

7.Your bank account doesn’t matter. I hope you didn’t believe this. We all know that this is definitely a lie. All women want a guy that is financial stable and independent, a guy that can assure her a future with no financial problems. This doesn’t mean that you have to be very rich to have a girlfriend, but you have to have some money.

8.It doesn’t bother to me if you look after women or go with your boys at strip-clubs. This is too good to be truth. Even she says that this is ok, she will definitely be upset that you want to go. They hate to feel second best to a night out with the guys, and accept this in order to make themselves seem less pathetically needy. If you choose to go, she will make you a lot of comments after, so you better think twice before you go.

9.You are very good in bed. If she choose to speak about this topic without you ask her, you don’t have to believe all she says. If she starts to compliment you about your sexual experience it doesn’t mean that she really believes that. Often a woman who cares about a man tell him all that she knows he wants to hear just to make him feel good about himself. So think about your girlfriend, your relationship, your sexual experience and see if you really deserve compliments on this topic.

10.Don’t worry, it happens to everyone. If you just make a mistake, or fail in bed, you might hear this lie from your girlfriend. She doesn’t want to show you how upset she is on you but in her mind thinks something else. I wouldn’t be too sure that your mistake is forgiven and I would worry in not making too many ” accidents” like these.

With all these presented, now will be more easy for you to know when your girlfriend is lying. As you see, what a woman says is not what she really thinks.

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