The Stages of a Breakup

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Often, the stages that you go through after a relationship breakup are very similar to what you go through when you receive any other type of terminal diagnosis. A person often goes through the same common five stages of grief… denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance… just a they would with other life-threatening situations.

These stages of grief are very real. However, it’s important to remember that these five stages of grief are not experienced in exactly the same way, or even in the exact same order for everybody. Many times, people end up hitting the denial and bargaining stages before they get around to any of the other stages. And this can cause a lot of problems, because what ends up happening is that a person continues to try to revive a relationship that really might be over for good. Let’s review these five stages of grief, and how they relate to a relationship breakup:

#1 – Denial

You can’t even believe that it might be over. All you can think of is how much you want to contact your ex… even if they aren’t trying to contact you.

#2 – Bargaining

You spend a great deal of time and energy trying to think of ways to still make the relationship work.

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#3 – Depression

You start to lose hope, and feel like maybe there’s nothing you can really do that will change your ex’s mind.

Maybe that’s as far as we should go. Let’s vow to stop this vicious cycle before you even get to the anger stage.

In the case of a breakup, one of the most important things you need to remember is to take care of yourself. Relationships may come and go, but you always have to take care of yourself first, no matter what.

Make sure you appreciate yourself for just being you. Don’t count on other people, even if it’s your “special someone”, to appreciate you. The only person you can really count on when the chips are down is yourself. When you’re in love with somebody, there is this constant effort to get an affirmation from them that they are in love with you too. You might even love yourself, and realize what a great person you are… but still you feel that you need to get the assurance that somebody else thinks you’re wonderful too. Although it’s easy to get into this vicious cycle, you need to try to take care of yourself, and don’t let yourself be too vulnerable to that kind of thinking.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to just feel good about being you. Find the strength within yourself to handle whatever life brings your way. You need to have the self-assurance that comes with knowing you have the confidence to handle any situation… even when you are in a situation where your relationship is going through tough times, or even if you fear it might actually be over. Don’t let yourself be intimidated by these kinds of thoughts and these types of situations. Find the strength which you know you have deep down inside that it takes to handle these types of situations with poise, confidence and self-assurance.

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