Best way to cope up with bitterness after your ex leaves you
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Are you feeling bitter because your ex left you. Bitterness is human nature; all of us go through it, and there’s no escaping. It’s an important stage for us to pass because without it, we can never learn how to reflect, grow up, forgive, and to let go.
Just keep it within sane limits. It’s one thing to confront bitterness alone, or with friends, yet it is another thing to scheme evil deeds against your ex and his new girl and execute those in the name of revenge. You don’t have to be a psycho. It’s a lot better to stay sane, stable, mature and wise rather than end up straight-jacketed in a mental asylum, and be considered a threat to the society.
1. Let it all out. Give it days, or weeks, to really think about the nastiest things about him. Let it all consume you for days. You have to keep thinking about it so you can tire yourself and say, “Tomorrow’s going to be a different day.”
2. Part of bitterness is to over analyze things that you shouldn’t be analyzing. They say you cannot over-examine a dead carcass of a relationship and wonder all your life what could have been if you did this or that. Well, don’t listen to them now. Because the only way to really cope with bitterness is to acknowledge that fault and keep punishing yourself. So when you say it’s over, it really is over.
3. Feel free to confront your bitterness with just about anything – alcohol, cigarettes, just make sure you won’t go out of the bounds. Make sure you won’t drink and drive, no drunk calling, no substance abuse; these will just make matters worse. Either you’ll only land to jail, or you’ll push him away instead of naturally pulling him into you.
4. It’s healthy to involve family and friends to your bitterness. When my cousins and friends abused him and his new girl in their absence (like them saying, “He looks like a frog anyway” or “Were you that blind? I wouldn’t go out with a balding mongrel!” or “She looks like our pug, anyway”) I just kept laughing. Of course it became natural for me to think the same. I was bitter. He dumped me. I was still recovering. And part of that recovery is, to confront my bitterness as a human being.
You see, bitterness is really something we can’t avoid. We really have to go through it in order to give our self chances to reflect – and stay brave out of that reflection. For us to really heal, forgive and have a new life of our own – free and independent from him, we have to punish ourselves further.
So one day, we will just wake up and say, “I’m sick and tired of bitterness. I don’t want to think about it anymore and today, I will choose to stop thinking about it.”
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