Difference between a Great Relationship and a Breakup

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In a beautiful relationship, conflict is as common as night and day, but fights in a relationship are an option to be chosen or not.

When you are in a relationship, you should be a good diplomat in approaching and handling conflicts. It can spell the difference between a flourishing relationship and one which is headed for the rocks.

Different issues deserve different solutions. Try to know these types of issues and you will never be wrong in meeting them head-on.

Your partner may be a ready-fire-aim sort of person who shoot first and ask questions later.  This type of approach can actually cause a lot of friction between the two of you. In relationships there is a need to understand and be accepting of another person’s point of view.

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Or, your partner can be a “crock pot” and let issues between you simmer for a while.  Simmering usually leads to seething, building resentments and blow up to an all-time big fight. In a relationship, time and space to mull things over is productive. It can help ease tensions and somehow prevent it from boiling over. It can give you a moment to sit down, talk and calmly address the conflict as mature individuals.

People can also be as primitive as cavemen in dealing with certain issues. This type believes that when one is right then the other person is certainly wrong. This person will usually go to any lengths to prove his/her convictions even to the extent of putting a relationship at stake. Dealing with this type of person dictates that you temporarily block out your own convictions and try to look at the issue from your partner’s point of view.  It is possible that your partner is indeed right and you are wrong.

There are persons who are experts in giving you the silent treatment. When issues arise, they either answer your “what’s wrong” questions with nothing or everything’s fine, or they just simply shut up like a clam. People who behave like these are afraid of conflicts because they correlate conflicts with an end to the relationship. But they should be made aware that not properly addressing the conflict can kill the relationship.

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Still another behavior mould or persons in relationships is the historian. He/she is one who remembers everything—every mistake, every fault and blunder ever made by you—up to the minute details. And they always bring this up to remind you, in detail. If your partner behaves like this, then it’s time to get it all out in the open—list the current conflict on a dry-erase board, deal with the problem, resolve the problem and erase the problem.  Then both of you should agree to totally erase that problem from your lives.

If you have mastered the art of dealing with the behavioral problems of your partner, it would also be a correct exercise to look back at these different types of behavior and ask yourself what category you are in.

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How to get your ex back