How to Get Back Your Ex

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Getting back with your ex is an age old problem. For a lot of people it is determinant of each individual’s wants and needs. As Sigmund Freud once said “We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love, never so forlornly unhappy as when we have lost our love object or its love.” It is a messy business. The sadness drives us to unparallel stamina to keep on trying, sometimes even if we don’t want it anymore and we don’t know it. But to keep things leveled on reality here, you must determine why you must try to get your “ex” back.

First is being realistic on why she or he left. We create illusions of why they leave us and justify certain comforts like, “she was just coaxed by her friends” or “it’s my fault, really I wasn’t there for her always”. Second thing that one must determine is that, IF it’s still worth going back to. Most of the time we spend telling our selves that love conquers all!! What we must realize is that love goes both ways and sometimes, the other simply does not love the way you do.

The best way to get back with your ex is to know exactly if he or she loves you still. Loves you the way you want them to love you back – this is very, very important. Or are you still in the same level of love? If so then maybe the break up could be just superficial or temporary. Given that the love is still the same, we must understand why it happened in the first place. Either he started it, or she started it.

With either reason, these steps are always valid for both.

1^st step is timing: Give each other time to cool a bit to avoid possible hurtful words that may come out. Also let each other reflect on what is important and give each other time to organize thoughts and reflections so as to avoid another fight. But don’t wait too long. Always be ready for the possibility that they may initiate contact first.

2^nd: Do not wait too long: Most of the time people get tired of waiting to simply find the right time to start contact but not to the point of, “Hey. Are you still there?” When someone is kept hanging for the longest time, the natural reaction is to be pushed away.

3^rd: Talk intelligently but honestly: When the Talk finally happens, always be honest and ALWAYS respectful. Ask questions you really want to know but were too scared to ask before.

4^th: Its all up to the other: Given of course that you still want to get back, it is totally up to her or him. Always give the other that kind of space, otherwise, you’re just sure to mess it up. Be firm and clear that you want this relationship to work and to continue.

5^th: Be ready to accept the decision: Acknowledge and ACCEPT that the last step is not up to you anymore. If the love for you is real, this time, you will know for sure. If it is, you’re lucky, things can and will only get better. If its not, give your self time to hurt and to heal further. If you really want to push it, now is not the right time. Desperately pushing it will only create problems, trust me. There is no easy way, there are no shortcuts, and it really takes time. Make sure that you have full acceptance if things don’t go your way…for now. If you show too much bitterness, the more you are pushing them away.

Hidden secrets to get your ex back

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How to get your ex back