Patience is the Key to Getting Your Ex Back

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If you are searching for ways to get your ex back after a break up, you may find that you are being misdirected by asking the wrong people for advice. A bunch of sweet talk and flowers just isn’t going to do the trick. Instead, you need a real plan of action, directed towards actions that really WILL work to get your ex back.

The following items outline four steps that will help you get your ex back, without the risk of making common mistakes. If you read this plan, and more importantly, put the plan into action, you will be on your way to bringing your ex back to you.

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Part #1 – Show Composure

You may be very upset over the break up, but you certainly don’t want your ex to see these emotions. It is important to stay calm, show that you are in charge of your emotions, and that you are prepared to accept the fact that perhaps things weren’t meant to be between you. Sometimes all it takes is proving that you are able to take a step back, for your ex to realize that he or she doesn’t want you to back away from them any further. Think of the example of a spoiled child who doesn’t want to play with any of their toys. If somebody else decides they want to play with them, suddenly the child wants them again.

You need to prove to your ex that they can’t just take you for granted, and expect that you’ll hang around forever, waiting for them to change their mind, or that you are going to continue to pursue them. The best way to do this is to just give them space… they will be expecting you to call, and if you don’t, they will give in and call you instead. This almost always works. Once they call you, you are well on your way to getting them back.

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Part #2 – Show Them that They Are No Longer in Control

When two people are in a relationship, there is somewhat of an expectation that you have a certain degree of control over each other. Can your ex handle the fact that, now that you are apart, they no longer have that control over you? When your ex calls you, make sure to keep the call short. Without sounding outright rude, try to sound a little distant or aloof. The goal is to have one high point in the conversation, perhaps when you say something that makes your ex laugh, or makes them remember a happy moment when the two of you were together. After achieving this “high point”, work towards ending the call, explaining that you are busy and have some things you need to do, and that you will catch up with them later. Your ex will be somewhat startled that you ended the call so quickly, and will be experiencing a somewhat uncomfortable feeling because you didn’t seem to need to stay on the phone with them. To regain their comfort level, they will be wanting future contact with you, and will be well on their way down the path of making up with you.

Part #3 – A Familiar Voice

You will want to wait a couple of days, and then call our ex back… it will be likely they will be glad that you are calling, even if they don’t show it. Make sure there is a specific purpose to your call, such as asking her if she has a missing book or CD of yours. This might make your ex feel quite sentimental, which might lead them to say something to you that gives you an indication that they are considering wanting to try your relationship again. If not, make it a quick call, which will once again leave your ex with a lot to think about and consider. A short call will make them “want more”, which may just emphasize to them how empty their world now seems without you in it.

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Step #4 – After Patience, Comes Your Reward

When your ex finally calls you back, telling you that they’d like to talk (and they will), suggest to them that they come over so you can talk in person. You will have better results if they can see your face. Be comforting, understanding and open, perhaps giving them a hug if they seem upset. If they suggest things that could be tried in order to get back together, be open and receptive to their ideas. The most important thing is that you do NOT want to be the one to actually suggest getting back together… let your ex make that suggestion. If they come up with the idea themselves, they are likely to work harder to make it work.

As you can see, it often takes patience and planning to get your ex back. But, by being patient, you will lead them to their own conclusion that they miss you and want you back. Once they admit that they want to try again, since it was their decision, they will work even harder with you to rebuild your relationship.

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How to get your ex back