Writing a Break Up Letter

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Sometimes, when a relationship is not going well, a break up becomes necessary. If you are planning to break up with your partner, you should take the time to rationally think about the situation. Consider whether you are simply mad about a certain situation or issue, and if things can be worked out between you. Or, is it something more serious that you have been thinking about for quite a while, and yet not doing anything about until now.

If you can no longer see a future together for you and your partner, for whatever reason, you need to find a way to communicate this to them. You may dread doing it, but if you have decided that it is necessary, you should handle it as quickly and efficiently as possible. However, you also want to remember that this is a person who was special to you, and you want to handle the break up with care and consideration. Before you break up with your partner, there are some things you will want to consider:

#1 – Do you really want to break up?

This should not be a quick or hasty decision, nor should it be an emotional trick to get their attention. Breaking up should be a last resort, to be used only after you are sure nothing can be done to save your relationship. Some types of problems don’t have to end a relationship, and instead can be communicated and worked out. Analyze the positive parts of your relationship, versus the negative parts, talking with a trusted friend or relative about your decision if necessary. Make sure you’ve thought about the situation rationally before making a final decision.

#2 – Is a break up letter really the best way to end things?

While it would seem that the best and most considerate way to end a relationship is in person, often this makes it hard for a person to say everything they want or need to say. By writing a break up letter, you can be sure to think of everything you need to say, and be able to say them, without the risk of getting overly emotional, or leaving things out. You can still deliver the letter in person, if you want, and use the letter to make sure you’ve communicated everything you need to, and then discuss things further with them after they have read the letter. In fact, this opportunity to communicate after they have read all of your issues, might give you a chance to come to a better mutual decision.

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If you’ve decided that you need to break up, and that writing a letter is the best way to handle the situation, there are some tips to keep in mind when writing your break up letter:

Tip #1 – Be straightforward

Make sure you stick to the facts, and keep your letter as short as possible. However, you also want to make sure to be considerate and polite, and not come off as rude in your letter.

Tip #2 – State the facts

Make sure to clearly point out what problems you feel exist in your relationship that have led you to believe that it is better for you to break up.

Tip #3 – Don’t be insulting

A break up letter is not the place for rude remarks or insults. Be polite, and keep to the issues at hand.

Tip #4 – Use positive types of statements

Instead of negative things, such as “I’ve had enough of you”, use more positive sentences such as “I think it would be best for both of us if we moved on in other directions.”

Tip #5 – Keep both sides in mind

You don’t want your letter to sound like you are simply dumping your partner. It’s better to explain how you feel this may be the best decision for both of you.

Tip #6 – Don’t give them false hope

If you’ve really decided that you need to break up, don’t say anything in your letter that can be construed as hope that the relationship can be fixed, or that you will somehow change your mind and want to stay together.

Tip #7 – Be grateful for the good times

Although you are ending your relationship, make sure that the other person knows how much you genuinely care about them, and how much the good times that you shared in the past meant to you.

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By following these tips, you can find a way to end a relationship with your partner when it seems like the best thing to do. By keeping things positive, you can do this in a way that lets you part without unnecessary hard feelings and bitterness.

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