Winning Back Your Ex – How To Give The Most Effective Apology

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An apology has great power. If the apology is sincere and effective, it can wipe away years of damage and hurt in a relationship. However, an apology can also do more damage if used ineffectively and the recipient senses that it’s insincere and being used in a manipulative way.

Saying “I’m sorry” usually isn’t very effective on its own for getting back together with your ex, because most likely your ex will realize that you’re apologizing in order to convince them to get back together, not because you actually mean it. So the first step in making an effective apology is to really examine why you’re apologizing and make sure you’re truly being sincere with it.

Most people would say that the purpose of an apology is to admit wrongdoing. An apology should do that, but a truly effective apology will specifically convey that you are taking responsibility for the rift in the relationship.

How does a person usually apologize to a significant other? It usually goes something like “I’m sorry, BUT…”. Now this is why apologies usually aren’t very effective in relationships. When you add the “but” to your apology, you are admitting that, yes, you did something wrong, but you’re also pushing some of the blame on the other person. If you want your apology to sound effective and sincere, you need to take FULL responsibility and acknowledge that you alone were the one to cause the hurt feelings.

Here are the components of a truly effective apology:

1. Acknowledge how your action made the other person feel – for example, start out by saying “you must have felt so angry”. They will most likely have a response, like “well not angry, but just annoyed” or “yes I was extremely angry!”. No matter their response, you’re getting off to a good start by allowing them to express their feelings so that a) you understand them better, and b) they feel that they are being understood.

2. Tell them why you did what you did – For example, if you didn’t call when you said you would, you could say “I’ve been so stressed out lately about my upcoming exam that I just completely forgot that I promised to call you”.

3. Explain how your actions made YOU feel as well – keeping with the example about the forgotten call, you could say “when I realized that I forgot to call you, I felt so guilty for neglecting you and not keeping my promise”.

4. Say you’re sorry – you want to convey that you’re not expecting forgiveness, just that you are sorry for what you did. So don’t defend yourself; you already explained your action, so simply end it with “I know this doesn’t make up for it, but I truly am sorry”.

Remember, in order to make your apology effective, you have to really mean it. If you’re just trying to fool someone into thinking you’re sorry, they’ll likely see right through you and it’ll just make things worse. But if you really examine your actions and how they made

the other person feel, using this type of apology can truly work wonders in a relationship, so commit these steps to memory and use them wisely!

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How to get your ex back