Prince charming Myth
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Prince Charming stories are what Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty have taught us about love, and as little girls, this is just the kind of love that we all grow into wishing for. I believed so much about fairy tale endings that when my marriage had to end, it crushed me to realize that fairy tales can’t happen at all and Prince Charming is a cruel figment of imagination. That he will never exist in this world and age. Maybe some were just lucky and I wasn’t one of them. And I don’t even know if I should still be reading those stories to my little girls now, because they might just have the same predicament in finding out the real truth.
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Or maybe just because, I relied heavily on the Prince Charming Myth that I didn’t bother changing some of my viewpoints that affected so much of my beliefs about true love and marriage.
Or properly finding a partner for that matter.
What I failed to realize is I should have separated fiction of Prince Charming from fact. There is no such thing as Prince Charming, Mr. Perfect or Mr. Right. You will simply fall in love with someone outside your qualification, and you’ll hate yourself that you can’t do anything about that madness. Even if that guy is an axe murderer, or a jobless slacker from the ghettos; worse, a lazy gold-digger.
Granted that I had such notoriety of ending up with guys in that category, I wrongly believed in the notions of Love Conquering All. That I failed to realize, there are things that I can no longer change about him, that in time of our marriage they did aggravate, and failed to realize as well that I cannot at all live with his defects. Whatever good qualities he had, they weren’t enough to compensate for the bad. It simply was outnumbered. I thought I loved him so much that even if he wiped my bank account clean, I thought I could stand it.
I don’t know if God didn’t want me to marry him after all, since I wasn’t given the apparent grace and inspiration to have lived with his defects. I wanted to change him for the better. Either he wasn’t ready, or the change I was demanding were just too much for him to handle, or simply because he didn’t want to change after all.
Another mistake I did was, I failed to distinguish between passion and love. What we had was passion and mistakenly, we both thought it was love. We were attracted too much to each other. Given too much physical attraction and desire, it faded when we dealt about the bills, milk and diapers for the baby, and the cost of living. Love was supposed to be the ultimate choice and decision to marry the same person all over again despite of and in spite of, too bad that it all faded when we both got pressured for our baby’s first birthday (my bank account was already clean and my credit cards cancelled because of his expenses) and we both scrammed to find the money. He had the good looks, the abs and the biceps to die for, but both of us didn’t have the maturity to deal with decision making, and raising a family.
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When we got married, I was blinded. He was my Prince Charming anyway. I believed in all the hoopla that the novels, love stories, and fairy tales presented to me while growing up that I didn’t listen to my family and friends the kind of life I was entering, that it was not all about the looks and somehow, educational and social background mattered a lot. Not only those but a healthy age gap and a sound maturity could have made our marriage work, and probably if we allowed ourselves more time to date, get to know each other deeply in at least a longer time frame, we could’ve worked out and divorce didn’t become an option. I should have waited.
But all too sudden when the overly romantic “Will you marry me?” proposal is asked by a guy you thought was Prince Charming, it’s just too difficult to resist.
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