After you beg, he simply doesn’t want you back

This is what I really hate about breakups, there’s always the tendency to want him back and this is regardless of who ended it and why. You miss him, you miss the fun times you used to have together, you miss his family, his crazy antics, how he makes you laugh in a middle of a really stressful day, how he makes you feel protected and loved, how he took care of me and the kids. So naturally I wanted him back, because life is totally different without him now. And I can’t take the depression. I remembered crying for over 5mos, nobody can ever comfort me, I think that was the worst kind of depression I’ve had since coming from a broken family myself, I didn’t want to end up in a broken one too.

I did all what I can do and all the advice I got from those self-help books, but I guess my case was a lot different from the situations they contemplated when these people wrote their self-help books. This can’t simply take him back. Or maybe I was just too obsessed to force it when I shouldn’t have done it in the first place.

So naturally I became all the more depressed. The kind of depression that I had before I begged him doubled and all the more complicated since I was already 3 months pregnant on our second baby. I simply could not accept defeat. Here’s a list of what I did to help myself out.

1.Accept the fact – maybe only for now – that it still can’t be. But this is not to entertain any false hope.

I already did my best, but my best wasn’t clearly enough. This situation would now call for the power of time and distance. When I ignored the importance of acceptance, things only became worse. I made a complete fool out of myself and erased whatever remaining confidence and self-esteem I had. When I didn’t get the results that I wanted, I only got all the more obsessed. Fine, everyone can be so desperate at times. But I am not a lunatic. I am still psychologically stable and sane to logically think if it can’t be after diligently exhausting all my efforts, there’s nothing else I can do.

2.Forgive him and myself for everything. Stop the bitterness.

It’s unavoidable to think of his flaws and shortcomings just to justify the feelings of a shattered ego. Only to find out that the more I thought about the bitterness and revenge, it dragged me down. Psychologically, I found out that the more negative thoughts and feelings I entertained, the more it upsets my way of thinking, and the way I perceive things. And all these negative thoughts and perceptions have indirectly influenced the circumstances around me and blocked all the positive that I should be attracting. More bitterness only led to added bitterness and hate. And I couldn’t think straight. I was too busy being bitter to find better opportunities, or a new source of income, I ignored the fun times I had with my baby, my family, and my friends. Because bitterness consumed all of me, I overlooked so many details of my life and career. So I decided to finally stop all the negative. I realized, I can only move on if I learn to forgive him and myself, so I can really move on.

3. Acknowledge his happiness without you.

If he says he’s happier without you, gracefully accept defeat. You’ll only make things worse if you force it now. If he’s happier without you now, maybe it’s high time for me to make myself happy without him too.

4.I deserve to be peaceful and happy too. Even without him.

Now this lies in my power of choice. I have the choice to stay depressed, constantly think of revenge, and make things worse for all of us, or, to make myself and everyone around me happy. Not only after choosing the former did I realize the advantage of the latter. I got too tired of crying and depression. I got tired of thinking revenge. I got fed up with myself for thinking that way. When I decided to give myself the happiness I deserve, I realized, it was better this way.

So my focus returned to the joy of being with my kid, caring for her and having so much fun playing with her, I enjoyed my friends’ company more, and I learned to appreciate my family more. I have enjoyed my career too when I decided to stop thinking of him. It was unavoidable, yes, but I decided to stop dwelling on those thoughts of him. This will really take time and a lot of practice, but it’s really worth it because now I feel loads better.

I enjoyed life without him that I found myself not thinking about him anymore. So when he called one day, I got all the more surprised. That was a better feeling compared to the feeling of wanting him to call – but never did.

How To Get Your Man Back: How to Get a Commitment : How to Make Him Want You : Regain His Interest : Make Him Fall In Love

Just before I finish off  I want to leave you with this video which I found, Its the promo for the movie ” The Notebook”. Love can be like that.

The Best and Fastest Way to Keep a Man From Leaving You

How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

You’re probably here because you’ve been searching for ways on how to get your ex boyfriend back. Well, you’ve come to the right place. This article will discuss the most effective and simplest ways on how to get ex boyfriend back.

Getting your ex boyfriend back involves a combination of two important processes. The first process is for you to make him feel unwanted and the second one is to make him feel just how much he’d lost. Combining these two processes will surely challenge him and make him go crazy over you again.

Making your guy feel unwanted will leave him wondering how it seems so easy for you to forget everything and how you can just ignore him as if nothing really happened. Meanwhile, making him realize how wrong he is on letting you go will only challenge him to get you back and try to rebuild the relationship.

To get your ex boyfriend back, take note of the following do’s and don’ts and try to consider them as you work on rebuilding a relationship with your guy.

If you really want your guy back, everything should start within you. You need to have a positive attitude and believe that everything will soon get back to normal and that you will get back together again. You need to be really confident and strong. Don’t let your emotions get to you and don’t let him see how miserable you’ve become and how much you need him back. Remember that guys will never get back in a relationship with a girl out of pity.

Always look good and dress good. Make your ex boyfriend realize just how much he’d lost and make him feel that your life is better without him.

If you have the same circle of friends, it’s hard to not see and ignore him. But every time you hang out, try to keep your distance from him. And if he starts talking to you, always keep the conversation short and simple. By this time, you would have probably talked about the current status of your relationship and there’s no reason for you to talk long. As much as possible, make the conversation casual and don’t talk too much about your personal life.

The same thing should happen whenever he calls you. If it’s nothing really important, try to cut the conversation short by telling him you’re busy and that you have better things to do than talk to him.

Every time you see him, do the things that you know he loves about you including those that made him fall head over heels for you. These could include your cute little ways or beautiful smile and probably just the way you are with other people. Doing such actions in front of him will only make him realize all the important things that he had let go.

Getting your ex boyfriend back can be really challenging especially if the feelings are no longer mutual. But giving up is not an option especially if you really want him back. Remember, however, not to harass your guy by constantly calling him or following him around. Avoid too much contact with him or you’ll just drive him away.

Always remember these simple tips on how to get ex boyfriend back. Be firm about your decision and be smart and strong about it. Soon enough, you’ll have him back in your arms again.

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4 Steps to Successfully Get Back your Ex

Right after a breakup, people who had just underwent through a trying and sad event in their lives will surely feel frustrated but the same time desperate especially when you are not ready to let go of your ex that easily.

If you really want to get your ex back, you must be wise. Do not let your emotions dictate your moves. Treat your quest to get your ex back as a military mission where you need to map out a plan which will guide you so that you will be successful in getting back your ex.

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Take one step at a time. First things first. Focus your mind on what you want and you eventually hope to achieve. You have to list down and carefully consider each factor that might affect your chances of getting back together successfully.

Step 1. Identify and understand your reasons why you are willing to go the extra mile to get back your ex. Your reasons must be from the heart. Is it what you really want? Do you still see both yourselves together in the future?

I did everything to get my ex back.Nothing worked – Except This!

Step 2. Be willing to change not only for your ex but for yourself. You owe yourself a chance to change for the better. Be willing to change your negative behavior which had contributed to the breakup of your relationship. Endeavor to be a better person and you will surely be more desirable.

Step 3. Keep the communication lines between you and your ex alive. If you are ready to talk with your ex, do so, but be sure to keep your cool and tread slowly. This is still a very much sensitive period. Whatever you do or say may spell the success or demise of your goals.

Step 4. Say what you mean and mean what you say. You should be a man of your word. Second chances are hard to find and you might never have another chance to show your ex that you really love him/her.

What motivates an ex boyfriend to communicate again ?

How Important Is Getting Back Your Ex?

Two people fell in love with each other. You were one of them. Sadly, whatever happened, you are no longer together but you may still be in love with your ex and your ex may still be in love with you. So, what happened to the relationship? What caused the two of you to break up?

How important then is getting back your ex? Perhaps you have realized that no matter what led to breaking up, no matter what mistakes were made, your ex was an integral part of your life and you feel that the good relationship you once had is definitely worth saving and developing.

As important as your ex is to you and you may be desperate to know how to get your ex back, it is mega important to know how your ex feels. Is the relationship as important to them and do they think it is worth getting back together?

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At this highly sensitive point in time, neither of you may honestly know if it is worth it or not because of the emotions and feelings that are in play. This will be especially true if the lead up to separating was particularly difficult or traumatic for one or both of you.

Hopefully love was there at one point (and still is) and this love was the very foundation of a successful relationship. Certain events took place, mistakes may have been made that started to weaken that foundation. Would getting back together now help both of you to re-strengthen that foundation? Can you fall in love all over again? The answer may well be yes but to be able to make that happen you cannot risk

Leaving Issues Unresolved

In writing these articles I often talk about giving each other “time and space”. Time to reflect on what has gone wrong, space to get on with your lives which is also very important. Something caused the break up, problems were left to eat away at the relationship. No matter how much you both think getting your ex back is important to your lives, leaving issues unresolved will only lead to further problems at a later date.

The time and space element allows both of you to calm down, come to terms with what has happened and, hopefully, prepare both of you to begin a dialogue. Listening to each others’ concerns with an open and caring attitude will not only facilitate the healing process but will also help you discuss the mistakes that were made in a blame free manner, allowing you to resolve the issues that may be preventing you from getting your ex back.

It is definitely worth taking your time to make sure you are both of the same heart and mind before contemplating giving the relationship another chance. Think of it in this way. Would you be prepared to get back together with your ex continuing the relationship exactly as you left it? I didn’t think so.

Mistakes to avoid –more than I ever expected–Read More

Being Prepared, Being Confident, Being sure

Taking the time to communicate, working together to deal with the mistakes that were made, resolving the issues surrounding the break up, will all point to the reality that you will be able to overcome the past and move on with your lives together. On the other hand, if the problems are so deep that you both realize that getting back together is not an option, it is better to know before you attempt it and move on with your separate lives with the knowledge that you both gave it your best shot.

My reputation is on the line-this has to work–Read More

Oftentimes this calm approach coupled with a genuine respect for each other will pay dividends. There is nothing better than the feeling of growing in confidence and being sure that you have made the right decision and it is very important getting back your ex.

How To Get Him Back

Has your boyfriend recently said ‘maybe we weren’t meant to be’? You thought he was the man you were destined to spend your entire life with, but he left you alone mid way. Nothing around seems as beautiful as it did earlier and the only thought that rules your mind right now is how to get him back.

You don’t want to remain in this situation for long. The first thing you need to do right now is analyze what went wrong. Was it completely your fault that you got dumped or is he really not interested in you anymore? There is no point thinking about how to get him back if he’s not interested. He will never be faithful and will not keep you happy.

In a relationship, there are few signals that indicate that your relationship is going to end soon. I experienced these and even though I felt insecure, I couldn’t do much about it:

• My boyfriend hardly called. I would call and the conversations were short and pretty meaningless.
• The way he looked at me wasn’t the same
• There weren’t any jokes and no laughter. Conversations were serious and majorly included questions like ‘how are you’, ‘what are you doing’, ‘did you eat’ etc.
• Sex was less. We were together but still a feeling of loneliness was also there
• There was no excitement. The spark was just not there anymore

I got alert when I could see I was going to lose him soon but couldn’t think of what to do. And then finally the day arrived, when he called and said that he wanted everything to end between us. I couldn’t completely understand why it happened. What went wrong? I tried to explain that things would get better in our relationship but he didn’t seem to be listening. Soon the time I had come when he stopped answering my calls or replying to my messages. This is when I realized that I had lost him and now I need to do something, which may even require changing myself completely but I had to get him back somehow.

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You need to think from his perspective. Don’t do things that you like because he is a different person. Remember what he liked you to do, what were the things you did in the beginning that attracted him towards you. Changing yourself would also mean changing some of the fundamental beliefs you have. It is important to understand what to stop and start doing to get your ex love back.

An important thing to remember here is that men DON’T like fake women. Changing yourself does not mean that you just start wearing shorter clothes or start drinking and stand in front of him. This might only make you look whacky and crazy. He will just laugh at you and walk away. You need to be yourself at this time. Change the way you think and try and match up to his level. Do things that he expected you to do but you never really gave them importance thinking it’s just fine the way it is.

You may be feeling lonely and totally heartbroken but don’t keep your head down and slump your shoulders. It will indicate how you feel inside. Self confidence should be maintained. Body language is the first signal you send to people and the way you present yourself will make all the change. Dress up nicely, accessorize yourself, take care of your hygiene, thing about the good things and make yourself feel special and stand up straight and have a good appearance.

My boyfriend and I had defined responsibilities in the relationship. I was responsible for keeping the house clean, grocery shopping and mostly the one who talked for long hours. He would patiently listen, pay off all the bills on time and was the bread earner. Towards the end, duties and responsibilities were not being taken care of. He forgot to pay bills, wasn’t really interested in what I was saying and I felt sad. He seemed bored of me. I should have added some excitement and adventure in the relationship then. He enjoyed golf and when I planned a weekend where we would go and play golf together, he loved it. Plan out dinners and spend time together. Try to talk out the things. Reverse roles, be the listener and let him do the talking. Going to the same places where you went earlier would remind him of good times you had together and he might think of giving the relationship a second chance.

Remember not to do the same mistakes that you did earlier. Once your relationship is on the verge of getting over, do not do something that always pissed him off. Even if you don’t like it, do things he likes. Pick out words from his conversation and talk to him using those words. This will make him feel that you have the same level of thinking as he does.

Don’t act jealous. When trying to get him back, don’t let him know that you really miss him and you are jealous seeing him with other guys. Act normal as if you’ve moved on. Don’t keep calling him or sending messages. Call once in a while and tell him lets catch up for dinner. Try to talk it out once but if he is not interested, don’t push it too hard. Being too romantic and smothering him with your outpourings of affection may have been the initial reason for your break up.

Pleading him and saying things like ‘I’ll do anything for you’, ‘all I want in my life is you’ is not the right thing to do. Becoming his slave will make you look weak, desperate and thoroughly unattractive. He would know that he can get back to you anytime and you wouldn’t say no. Accepting your love after he has dated some other girl might not give you happiness. If he has ditched you once, he might leave you alone and do it again.

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5 Ways to Get An Ex Back

To get an ex back fast, you need to follow some basic principles. It’s not rocket science but when you are desperate and in agony, we all act beyond reason and regret later. Here are some basic tips.

1. Bury The Hatchet

If this person is your Ex, then there was an end involved. Getting them back is a new beginning. This is a chance to start over and build new memories. If there are underlying issues, then you two probably need to talk about them prior to any romantic involvement. New beginnings call for new rules, new boundaries and new attitudes. This person is the same person you were with. Although people change certain parts of their lives externally, most of us are who we are to the core. Your biggest hurdle will be accepting them as they are (who you knew). The “talk” that you two will have will be about behavior. You should expect the basics: respect, commitment, trust, friendship and love. If they are willing to give you the basics and you truly believe it then you must let go of the past and start anew.

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1. Maintain Contact

If you want to be on someone’s mind, you must maintain contact. If they allow it, call them. If you have their MySpace or some other social networking site address, then send them a message or two. Be sure to not become a stalker, a few calls a week and maybe one message will be fine. Depending on your prior relationship, you may want to leave an obvious message of remembrance of what you two had. If they are harder to persuade, leave a short, sweet, friend-like message; this will give them a chance to reach out as a friend with no pressure.

1. Where They Are

Chances are that you know where they spend most of their time. If you can, just be in the neighborhood looking your absolute best. When you see them, be sure to not hold up too much of their time (unless they insist you stay). Ask about what is going on in their lives. Although they may tell you some bad news, you are only to talk about what’s so great about your life. If you seem needy, as if you are carrying a bunch of problems, there is no way they are going to want any part of that.

1. Family & Friends

Is there a best friend that you can talk to? Did you get along with the parents or a sibling? This is great because you can express how you feel to them. One thing about people is that we all love to see someone in love. Another thing about people is that they love you talk. Your love bug will find out that you want them back.

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1. Straight. No Chaser.

Here’s how the conversation will go, “I can’t live without you.” That’s it. Being direct can never be imitated or exaggerated. Just tell them. While most of us cringe at this notion, this can save lots of time and heartache. If you get rejected, you will know that it is definitely time to move on. Even if it there is trepidation on their part, they may just need time to think about it. This is good because if they are dating others, you can be sure that you are on their mind; if all else fails, you want to be on their mind.

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3 Red Flags of an Impending Breakup

Before a breakup happens, wouldn’t it be better to be forewarned than just wait for it to happen?

You will need to avoid the dangerous collision and the damaging pain if you know how to recognize the signs and steer clear of it -

Red Flag #1: Falling out

This is one of the most common but actually the most damaging. It is in fact very minor but it is the most hurtful. When your partner distances from you and you don’t know why, you’re in for an emotional limbo.

The Cure: Break Down the Wall

A simple problem requires a simple solution. A simple look when he’s talking, a stupid joke, or a simple affectionate touch (which is done at least daily), listening to him and making him feel good about himself will do wonders. Flirt like you used to. Laugh at the dumbest jokes. You’ll both feel good and when you do, in no time you’re closer again.

Red Flag #2: Lash Fire with Fire

If you constantly throw fire, expect to be thrown fire as well. You cannot expect your partner to throw a calm wind when you rage (unless you’re very lucky). Name-calling, blaming, accusing, sarcasm, negative criticism, and physical and verbal violence (from throwing things, slamming doors, to actual physical and verbal abuse) only result in a deeper emotional wound that will be very difficult to heal later on.

The Cure: Pour Water on the Flames

Cool off your mind from anger before you say anything that you will only regret later on. If that’s totally not possible, just walk out and breathe fresh air. Use kinder words and pleas instead of piercing accusations. Instead of, “Why did you forget our date?” you could just articulate your emotions by saying, “I feel sad that you forgot our date. How can we make sure this doesn’t happen again?” If he fans the flames, do not engage in the vicious cycle. Once the other calms down, a logical mind will only say it’s but natural reciprocate.

Red Flag #3: Not acknowledging your own faults

We feel sorry for ourselves that’s why we instantly put the blame on them. We always think of ourselves as the victims and not often, the ones who provoked.

The Cure: Take Responsibility for Your Actions

Remember that you will not experience neglect, lies, betrayal, or infidelity if you never gave any reason at all for them to do it. Always think that somewhere, somehow, you gave reasons so you might as well own up the fault here.

Stop refusing to take responsibility. Instead, apologize and admit where you went wrong then just amend it next time. Simple yes, but very helpful.

These simple changes in your communication can do wonders for you. It’s only natural for a couple to argue and fight because of personality differences, but it is how you fight and argue concludes whether your love can pass this test.

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The Best Way To Get Your Ex Back – All there is to it!

So you  want to know how to get back your ex fast. All you have to do is to come up with an effective game plan, and make sure you stick to it whatever consequence may happen next.

Getting your ex back after a painful break up is a difficult, if not a tedious process. Be prepared for some hard work if you really want it bad. With just the right plan and course of action, you can succeed.

Remember that there are a lot of self-help websites that pose as the most effective and definitely most helpful. But before you get the help you need you have to pay first. Be skeptic; there are still people out there genuinely concerned to help and most of the time, what they have to say are worth your attention than those desperate to get your money.

Here’s a good sample of the advice that really made a lot of sense:

* The single best way to get your ex back is to simply let go. Yes, it sounds crazy. I know this just the opposite that you wanted to happen – you want to make up and not to break up. But by truly letting go will you get back that sense of control you’ve lost.

* Validate your breakup by writing your ex a short note. Tell your ex that you absolutely understand why the breakup was necessary and only the distance will help you both for now. Just keep it short, stop the temptation to beg, and MAIL it and not deliver it. Remember, distance and space is what you both need now.

* Given all the space that you now have, enjoy it. You deserve a break; this is for you. Get in touch with lost friends and enjoy their company. Be seen out and about. Being in good company of friends is more therapeutic.

* Use this space to clean your mind and thoughts of anything negative – all the anger, depression, and bitterness. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Clear yourself of the baggage.

Believe me, the last thing you will ever do is move on! Think about it this way. You are just devising a clever plan to make sure this game plan is effective. Have your own life first, then only with clarity can you put a lot of things in order and work on a step by step plan to get your ex back. This is definitely not moving on!

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Do You Really Want Him Back?

Did you lose your love of your life? Stop being pathetic. Stop showing your ex that you’re so desperate to have them back (even if you really are). It’s important that you have the right reasons to get him back – and not just because of a shattered ego. Because sometimes, desperation is unhealthy to show in excess. It’s ok to show how bad you really want them back but you have to maintain it in a sane perspective – not like you’re ready to kill your ex’s new date, or you’re ready to do something really drastic (like suicide or burning his apartment). It’s also unhealthy if you keep forcing yourself into someone who simply lost all the love for you – only to find out that, deep down, you yourself aren’t sure if you really want him back. Your second chance with him if in case you get back together is doomed to fail – if you wanted him back and if you got him back for the wrong reasons.

Doing a self-check is a good way to start. You have to have the right reasons for wanting him back and not just to suffice any ill feelings now. Before you decide and to strategize how to get your ex back, it’s important for you to ask yourself these questions:

1. Do I really want him back? What if I’m just lonely and scared to be alone?

You will instinctively say YES because you’re sad now. You’re desperate. You can’t stand the loneliness. But firstly, why did you break up in the first place? Was it because of trust issues on your part – or his? Did he cheat? Or did you cheat? Was there any abuse issues? Do I want him back because of untainted and unconditional love, or I just want revenge? Find out the real issue why it ended. If it was a shallow reason that was clearly unheard of, if it lacked proper and mature justification, then maybe it’s pointless to get him back. If the reason was indeed valid – and not just some lame excuse taken out of thin air, you have to rethink it over. For all you know, you might have given him the reasons to leave! All these questions are not only important in finding out if you really want him back or not, these will also prove to be VERY important once you both decide to mend the broken relationship.

2. Have I forgiven him (myself included)?

After a serious soul and self-search of all the reasons why he left and why it had to end, it’s also very important to forgive him – and yourself included. If he cheated on you, yes it’s very painful, betrayal is always a tough thing to deal with, but if you’re getting him back without forgiving and forgetting, you as a couple will not move forward and your second chance together will be doomed to fail. Without forgiveness and forgetting, you’re just starting off with the wrong foot.

3. Would I be a better partner in case I successfully get him back?

Just in case that you succeed, are you sure that the both of you will be better partners to each other later on? If it’s going to turn out for the worse, with more cheating, more distrust, a vengeful thinking, or you just want to get back, forget it. It’s not going to do you any good. A relationship has to be free from these negative thoughts and feelings. Remember, it always has to be something good. You don’t really need any negative thoughts or motives right now.

4. Am I ready to make it work this time?

After all these questions and before making a resolve, be sure you’re ready to make it work. Be sure that breakups are only as bad as avoiding the real problem instead of you both squarely facing it and solving the problem. And you will both do everything to make it work. That relationships only work out between 2 grownup adults ready to face challenges together, and ready to commit, rather than breaking up in haste and regretting it all the more.

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Is breaking up really worth it?

Have you broken up with your boyfriend or partner?  Are you finding it as a daunting task to get back with your boyfriend? It’s easy to let emotions take over and regret things later on when it’s too late and you can’t bring him back when after all, things could have been resolved instead of breaking up. This, as I have realized, should be your last last option. But that’s really difficult if you’re emotionally charged, right? You might as well take off your emotions first because all regrettable actions are done in too much emotion and haste. Before you jump into something you’re bound to regret later on, ask yourself these questions first -

1. Do we really have to do this now?

Can this be still avoided? So ok, I might be fed up, I might be sick and tired with a lot of things about him, but get to the main issue first before you cloud it with something else. What really happened that we got into this? Or better yet, why don’t we try talking it over first? If this can still be avoided by talking things out, that should be the first course of action. We all get fed up, but that will never mean to do things we’ll only regret later on.

1. Is it the right thing to do now?

This rather depends on where you both are now in your relationship. If there’s too much suffocation going on, it might be better to get your own or give him space first – then talk about your options if you’re indeed calling it off or just giving each other time and space to think things over. There are situations where you really have to end it based on logical and reasonable circumstances like, if there’s too much abuse going on (be it physical, emotional, or both), or, there already is a perceivable threat to life and/or property. But if you’re breaking up just because he didn’t give you something special on your first year anniversary, better think it over first.

Getting your ex boyfriend back

1. Will breaking up make us better – in the long run?

As painful as it is, breaking up really do have benefits – but only in the long term. You would never feel the benefits if you’re still hurting and obsessed with him. You get to realize so many things- what could have been, what you could have done to avoid the breakup, what you could’ve done to save it. Sometimes, it’s even better to break up to have a sweeter relationship the second time around – because of all faults and issues addressed and both decided to have an open mind.

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