How to get a guy to notice you

There are just guys that are difficult to get to notice and remember you no matter how you try without looking so desperate. Especially the really hot ones (who are unfortunately, arrogant most of the time because they know they’re good looking), but here are the common tips on how to usually get their attention and stick you to their minds (without having to appear like we’re so desperate for it).

If you don’t know him yet:

1.      Know him on the first date. If you just saw him from a far, just drop it (except if you are really desperate). Know what he likes in a girl and try to change into some of it without being too obvious.

2.      Know his lifestyle and activities without appearing too nosy. Just be friendly and make sure you do it subtly (once you overdo it, you sure to ruin your chances. Believe me.)

3.      A simple hi or wink will do. Being extra friendly (again, just subtly) will also help to keep him interested and enthusiastic.

4.      Be your own self and remember that first impressions really last. Stop acting so awkward. Starting it with friendship will do wonders.

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If you know him already:

5.      Establish a common ground and work from their. You both like the outdoors? Try planning something with him as a friend. No malice. Just being honest to goodness friends so as not to appear too obvious. Guys prefer the challenge of them chasing, you know.

6.      Don’t be too demanding, controlling, or too pushy. You will just turn him off. Give him more space and do not ever give him the impression that you think of him all day. Let him do that, and trust me. It’s a lot better that way if he thinks of you too often, and not the reverse. Make him long for you in your absence. Give him a reason to miss you and to treat you special.

7.      Dress well, possibly with your best. You don’t have to show all your skin, just mysterious and really good will do the trick. For some guys, the simpler, the better. Simple dress, simple jewelry, let your natural beauty shine and not your clothing outshine you.

8.      And finally, start a good conversation. There’s nothing better to engage a guy’s attention and thought with a really good and stimulating conversation. This is often the best way to get him to like you and keep thinking of you – just make sure that you talk sense.

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Are we combatible?

Are we compatible? What makes two people compatible? Does compatibility really exist? Nowadays it sounds odd. There are so many couples out there who can still make a good marriage without the compatibility factor; my parents, for instance, are total opposites both in the Western and Chinese Horoscopes. They are as different as black and white and north and south.

Still, they are still together after 40+ years. And still counting.

Is compatibility really important? Or is it something created by a person’s mind, a figment of what and how relationships are supposed to work, or an unnecessary pre-qualification imposed by people who don’t really know how relationships work out?

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Whatever their reasons are, compatibility to some other people will always play a very important role in mate selection. It makes a lot of sense though, that we cannot choose to breed with animals (I mean, HELLO). But sticking it to the human race and choosing between and amongst ourselves, maybe compatibility really is a determinant, and an important factor in determining whether a union could well exist longer.

Compatibility (as how I understand it) is defined (well, personally) as being in total harmony with the other because of a complete match or understanding of each other. It’s considered a total, perfect match. It’s where attitudes, strengths and weakness are perfectly matched and conflicts are naturally rare to happen. That most of the time, it already encompasses beyond the belief in the relationship and a strong will to continue it. Not really like soul mates but maybe, just a little step below that level.

So, if you both like chocolates, does that mean you’re compatible? When I met my husband that was when I started believing in compatibility. We both loved each other’s company, we both made each other laugh. Both of us are athletic, we love sports, we love basketball and boxing, we had so many things in common including our pasts. Though we had our differences – I love reading and he loves to dance, our similarities outnumbered our differences. So I naturally assumed that yes, we were perfectly compatible with each other. Our signs (both in Chinese and Western Horoscopes) also said that yes, we are perfectly compatible with each other. We perfectly understood each other’s needs for freedom, affection, and most importantly having fun. Even at arguments, we can’t help but to laugh silly. I am at my funniest when I’m mad and that’s what he totally adored about me – our arguments are easily dissolved by humor and laughter. And we had great sex. Probably the greatest of all since it was only him who successfully got me pregnant when all other failed.

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But we divorced only after a year of marriage, our firstborn was barely a year old and I was pregnant with our second baby. Why? There were a number of reasons. My family and friends detested him and judged him for the high school drop out that he is, that he relied on odd jobs (like being a mascot or a white painted moving statue off the streets) so most of the time, he was jobless. Add the fact that he came from a family of 6 earning $5,000 a year (I am NOT kidding) and both of his dad and step mum didn’t have at least a high school degree to get them at least decent unskilled jobs and credit cards for their sustenance. I was just lucky that I lived a life completely opposite from his – that at the very least I was able to afford my own place. My parents and friends didn’t hate him for living below the poverty line, but for me becoming the sole breadwinner when it was supposed to be a double-effort thing. The marriage also didn’t work out because he was never ready to become a young father at 21 and I was already 25 then, ready to take responsibility to become a mother and a wife. He was limited to the foresight of what he still needs to experience at 21 while for me, I was already planning our future in the next coming years.

So there. Maybe in all personality aspects we were perfectly compatible, but socio-economic terms we differed greatly, so does the environment we were brought up in, the family, and the values system that we grew up with. We loved each other dearly, just too bad that feelings did not suffice. Does compatibility really exist and is it really needed to make it work?

But if in all aspects we were compatible, could we have saved the marriage? I don’t think so too. I absolutely think that it will take more than that.

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