Take this First Step to Get your Ex Back

An ounce of sacrifice and a pound of compromise are very much important for a relationship to grow and flourish.  Mending broken hearts and hurt feelings after a breakup is never easy, but if you are both destined for each other, then whatever road and trials you might encounter will be nothing compared to what you will eventually reap in the end, which is a long and lasting relationship.

Oftentimes people who have just experienced a break-up will keep asking themselves to get their ex back. But this should not be the case. What’s best is to focus on pinpointing the cause or reasons of what led to the breakup.  Being able to recognize the root will enable you to properly analyze and map out a plan to rectify and eventually do better in your relationship.

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Break-ups are commonly caused by two reasons: it is either the magic has flickered out or both of you feel that the relationship has become too stifling and has become claustrophobic about it. Whatever side of the river, you are on; any of these causes will lead to pressures and eventually breaking up.

Unfortunately, neither of you hasn’t seen it coming. Initially, both of you keep pointing accusing fingers, blaming each other of the demise of your relationship.  But whatever the reason, the harsh and hurtful result is still the same. You and your ex are now separated by a deep abyss of hurt, misery, and perhaps insecurity.

So what’s the next move? If you have sorted out things and situations affecting your relationship, then you can now try to get your ex back. Use the lessons you’ve learned and the new perspective you have of an ideal relationship to magnet your ex back. There is no use for pointing fingers and blaming. Instead, grow up from the mistakes of the past and use it to make your relationship stronger and more meaningful.

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5 Ways to Get An Ex Back

To get an ex back fast, you need to follow some basic principles. It’s not rocket science but when you are desperate and in agony, we all act beyond reason and regret later. Here are some basic tips.

1. Bury The Hatchet

If this person is your Ex, then there was an end involved. Getting them back is a new beginning. This is a chance to start over and build new memories. If there are underlying issues, then you two probably need to talk about them prior to any romantic involvement. New beginnings call for new rules, new boundaries and new attitudes. This person is the same person you were with. Although people change certain parts of their lives externally, most of us are who we are to the core. Your biggest hurdle will be accepting them as they are (who you knew). The “talk” that you two will have will be about behavior. You should expect the basics: respect, commitment, trust, friendship and love. If they are willing to give you the basics and you truly believe it then you must let go of the past and start anew.

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1. Maintain Contact

If you want to be on someone’s mind, you must maintain contact. If they allow it, call them. If you have their MySpace or some other social networking site address, then send them a message or two. Be sure to not become a stalker, a few calls a week and maybe one message will be fine. Depending on your prior relationship, you may want to leave an obvious message of remembrance of what you two had. If they are harder to persuade, leave a short, sweet, friend-like message; this will give them a chance to reach out as a friend with no pressure.

1. Where They Are

Chances are that you know where they spend most of their time. If you can, just be in the neighborhood looking your absolute best. When you see them, be sure to not hold up too much of their time (unless they insist you stay). Ask about what is going on in their lives. Although they may tell you some bad news, you are only to talk about what’s so great about your life. If you seem needy, as if you are carrying a bunch of problems, there is no way they are going to want any part of that.

1. Family & Friends

Is there a best friend that you can talk to? Did you get along with the parents or a sibling? This is great because you can express how you feel to them. One thing about people is that we all love to see someone in love. Another thing about people is that they love you talk. Your love bug will find out that you want them back.

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1. Straight. No Chaser.

Here’s how the conversation will go, “I can’t live without you.” That’s it. Being direct can never be imitated or exaggerated. Just tell them. While most of us cringe at this notion, this can save lots of time and heartache. If you get rejected, you will know that it is definitely time to move on. Even if it there is trepidation on their part, they may just need time to think about it. This is good because if they are dating others, you can be sure that you are on their mind; if all else fails, you want to be on their mind.

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Is breaking up really worth it?

Have you broken up with your boyfriend or partner?  Are you finding it as a daunting task to get back with your boyfriend? It’s easy to let emotions take over and regret things later on when it’s too late and you can’t bring him back when after all, things could have been resolved instead of breaking up. This, as I have realized, should be your last last option. But that’s really difficult if you’re emotionally charged, right? You might as well take off your emotions first because all regrettable actions are done in too much emotion and haste. Before you jump into something you’re bound to regret later on, ask yourself these questions first -

1. Do we really have to do this now?

Can this be still avoided? So ok, I might be fed up, I might be sick and tired with a lot of things about him, but get to the main issue first before you cloud it with something else. What really happened that we got into this? Or better yet, why don’t we try talking it over first? If this can still be avoided by talking things out, that should be the first course of action. We all get fed up, but that will never mean to do things we’ll only regret later on.

1. Is it the right thing to do now?

This rather depends on where you both are now in your relationship. If there’s too much suffocation going on, it might be better to get your own or give him space first – then talk about your options if you’re indeed calling it off or just giving each other time and space to think things over. There are situations where you really have to end it based on logical and reasonable circumstances like, if there’s too much abuse going on (be it physical, emotional, or both), or, there already is a perceivable threat to life and/or property. But if you’re breaking up just because he didn’t give you something special on your first year anniversary, better think it over first.

Getting your ex boyfriend back

1. Will breaking up make us better – in the long run?

As painful as it is, breaking up really do have benefits – but only in the long term. You would never feel the benefits if you’re still hurting and obsessed with him. You get to realize so many things- what could have been, what you could have done to avoid the breakup, what you could’ve done to save it. Sometimes, it’s even better to break up to have a sweeter relationship the second time around – because of all faults and issues addressed and both decided to have an open mind.

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How to Stop Breaking Up

Break up is not an easy thing  to go through. Even before going into relationship always gauge maturity levels – both  yours and your partner’s. Emotionally matured people are more likely to have a better chance of keeping and sustaining a loving relationship (age does matter at times). Experience and maturity accepts certain realities like sharing, time, space and sometimes even money. A mature heart understands prioritizing, and sacrifice. Sad to say that more often than not younger hearts are incapable of, at most sometimes even as adults we can be pretty ignorant in our relationships. Always give yourself time to reflect on how much you want in a relationship even before you enter it, but not to the point of overly calculating.

Understanding, deeper understanding and deepest understanding are mainly the key to longevity and staying power. Both people should understand that love is not just a feeling of lust or excitement. It is also about dedication mutual respect and sincere care for one another that will provide the missing ingredients on how to stay with each other. A wise man once said “Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love become as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.” -Bruce Lee.

Love, just like the natural world, will evolve and change in time. What it evolves into will depend on how both parties take care of its evolution. If you want regular fights and hate, all you have to do is nurture it with jealousy and resentment. Paranoia and stress is sometimes part of relationship but there is nothing both can overcome given that the love is right and honest. If you want happiness, nurture it even in its early stages of trust and respect. It is what fuels the desire to stay with each other that will ultimately be every reason to stay or break up. Nurturing this love is the key. It is up to the relationship whether to fuel it with understanding and respect, or with jealousy and contempt. To keep a relationship is to start it right.

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