Hey, Can We Meet Up?”

After going through from a breakup, perhaps after moving on, or still healing, he calls then ask you…

“I was wondering if we can still meet up.”

You tremble.  Naturally, you’re not yet over. You want him back. But all your tactics seemed to fail and it’s all hopeless. You don’t know what to do next.

Mustering all the strength to remain calm and composed, you must ask, “Why?”

Whatever answer he comes up with, you have 2 choices. Either you play the chase by saying “Sorry I can’t, I’m too busy” to keep him chase you (or at least make him wonder a lot about you), or dig deeper his real motives by saying, “Sure. When and where?”

But at this point, please do not ever think that he wants you back. Better to assume otherwise than assume such things, then when it doesn’t happen, you feel like a sore loser and wallow again in self pity. For all you know he just needs his stuff back without any need of a conversation.

So now you finally meet up. Lucky you if he shows up, and whatever feelings you may have, please act dense. This is one effective tactic because the more you show your weak emotions to a man, the more likely you will be turned away. (While if he doesn’t show up, forget it and walk away).

So when you get lucky to see him, remember these important points and tactics if you really want him to keep thinking and wondering about you.

1.      Always act casual. Remember, this is not the time to release all your emotions and tell him how devastated you were, and that you need him back. This is the perfect time to let him play his ballgame, and gain total control of it – that whatever he initiates, you are just there to play his game. Once you don’t, you are sure to ruin your chances.

2.      Play it by ear and keep a poker face. Since you are giving him the full command of the conversation, keep on answering calmly and be careful not to make any snide comments reflective of whatever emotions you may have at this moment. Treat this like a world poker tour; the more you disguise, the more chances of you winning the game even if defeat is just lurking around the corner.

3.      Let him keep guessing. When he asks, “How are you, how are the kids, how have you been all this time,” always act cool and calm and answer in brief. Avoid giving more details because once you do, you will not uncover the real reason why he wanted to meet up.

4.      Uncover the real reason by keeping your answers short and sweet so he will be compelled to go straight to the point – whatever his reservations might be.

5.      Let him keep asking. Remember, let him play his ballgame and only act as if you’re playing it with him. It’s ok to ask casual questions, but make sure, his answers too would be short and sweet to allow him to go straight to the point. If he doesn’t, and after an hour you’re still wondering, this is now the best time to ask his real purpose.

6.      Keep your tactics together. If he says, “I just want to see you. Period.” Then reply by saying, “Now you’ve seen me. Can I go now? I have to do something else.”

7.      Whatever happens, never ever  have sex with him again for old time’s sake. Even if you are desperate to get him back, this will just complicate matters because having sex with him preempts whatever healing process you should still be passing through. You may not have forgiven each other’s faults yet, and all remaining bitterness might still be there. And just with the act, you’re sure to blow your sure chances of getting him.

If you really want him back, both of you should start again on a clean slate – for you to make it last this time. You should have forgiven each other, all bitterness is gone, and both of you should make a firm resolve to get back to each other.

How to achieve that? By starting again when you first met him.

Problems in relationship? Need help to get him back?

What to say when he call again

You still want him back, do you? Now you’ve done your homework – you’ve moved on (after spending a fortune to these self-help books! I damn well should!), or a good 70-80% tells you that you’ve moved on, you already have a life, yes you still want him back but you’re no longer that desperate…that you’re no longer thinking of him that much…

…Then he suddenly calls.

What will you say? Rather, what should you say?

1.      Be positive. How have you been? Good start for a casual talk.

2.      Stop thinking that he called you because he now wants you back. Never entertain false assumptions at this point. It’s better to assume that he needs his stuff back, or he just wants to ask a few random questions, or maybe he’s just bored – rather than assume that he wants you back only that he doesn’t.

3.      Stop initiating talks like, “After you left, I’ve been devastated…I dated around but all I think about is you…” It’s not proper for you to start that talk even if deep down it wants to burst out of you. Stop showing him how devastated you were, it’s not going to lead you anywhere good. Trust me. Let him start that, not you. If you really want him back, let him keep guessing.

4.      Don’t start talking about all the bad things that happened when you broke up. If he starts it, then fine go talk about it, but make sure you avoid all the bitterness and anger. It’s human nature to feel those emotions, but you don’t have to show him. A sign of a mature, intelligent, and emotionally stable adult is to acknowledge that yes, you’re still hurt, you’re still healing, but you have to let your logic rule your life now.

5.      Once he starts talking about his new girl, or how happy he’s been without you, YOU DON’T HAVE TO SHOW HIM YOU’RE STUNG. Just keep it inside you first. Cry on it later when he hangs up. But now that you’re still talking to him, you have these following options:

a.       “Let’s not talk about it yet. I’m still healing, I hope you understand.”

b.      “Really? Good for you.” Then roll your eyes and talk about something else.

6.      Then out of nowhere say, “Hey I gotta go.” Even if you want the whole day to talk to him, your easy exit will be your best tactic to let him chase you. Remember, you have to play games sometimes to get what you want.

Always remember that the rule here is to keep him guessing. Once a man does, he’ll keep on wondering about you and he won’t stop thinking what the heck happened – when before you were so eager and desperate to want him back. This is a good start to make him think about you more often.

How To Get Your Ex Back: Make Your Ex Fall In Love Again

Do You Really Want Him Back?

Did you lose your love of your life? Stop being pathetic. Stop showing your ex that you’re so desperate to have them back (even if you really are). It’s important that you have the right reasons to get him back – and not just because of a shattered ego. Because sometimes, desperation is unhealthy to show in excess. It’s ok to show how bad you really want them back but you have to maintain it in a sane perspective – not like you’re ready to kill your ex’s new date, or you’re ready to do something really drastic (like suicide or burning his apartment). It’s also unhealthy if you keep forcing yourself into someone who simply lost all the love for you – only to find out that, deep down, you yourself aren’t sure if you really want him back. Your second chance with him if in case you get back together is doomed to fail – if you wanted him back and if you got him back for the wrong reasons.

Doing a self-check is a good way to start. You have to have the right reasons for wanting him back and not just to suffice any ill feelings now. Before you decide and to strategize how to get your ex back, it’s important for you to ask yourself these questions:

1. Do I really want him back? What if I’m just lonely and scared to be alone?

You will instinctively say YES because you’re sad now. You’re desperate. You can’t stand the loneliness. But firstly, why did you break up in the first place? Was it because of trust issues on your part – or his? Did he cheat? Or did you cheat? Was there any abuse issues? Do I want him back because of untainted and unconditional love, or I just want revenge? Find out the real issue why it ended. If it was a shallow reason that was clearly unheard of, if it lacked proper and mature justification, then maybe it’s pointless to get him back. If the reason was indeed valid – and not just some lame excuse taken out of thin air, you have to rethink it over. For all you know, you might have given him the reasons to leave! All these questions are not only important in finding out if you really want him back or not, these will also prove to be VERY important once you both decide to mend the broken relationship.

2. Have I forgiven him (myself included)?

After a serious soul and self-search of all the reasons why he left and why it had to end, it’s also very important to forgive him – and yourself included. If he cheated on you, yes it’s very painful, betrayal is always a tough thing to deal with, but if you’re getting him back without forgiving and forgetting, you as a couple will not move forward and your second chance together will be doomed to fail. Without forgiveness and forgetting, you’re just starting off with the wrong foot.

3. Would I be a better partner in case I successfully get him back?

Just in case that you succeed, are you sure that the both of you will be better partners to each other later on? If it’s going to turn out for the worse, with more cheating, more distrust, a vengeful thinking, or you just want to get back, forget it. It’s not going to do you any good. A relationship has to be free from these negative thoughts and feelings. Remember, it always has to be something good. You don’t really need any negative thoughts or motives right now.

4. Am I ready to make it work this time?

After all these questions and before making a resolve, be sure you’re ready to make it work. Be sure that breakups are only as bad as avoiding the real problem instead of you both squarely facing it and solving the problem. And you will both do everything to make it work. That relationships only work out between 2 grownup adults ready to face challenges together, and ready to commit, rather than breaking up in haste and regretting it all the more.

Here is a movie which covers everything about  typical  break up.

The Best and Fastest Way to Keep a Man From Leaving You